A hard day.

This morning we buried our neko-chan in the flower bed near the front door.

We had a last "group hug" time and we gave him chicken and dried food for his journey.

And we cried. A lot. All day. At hourly intervals.

His food bowls. His toilet box. His scratch boxes. He is everywhere. I keep expecting him to wobble into the room and do that circulating to get ready to jump onto my lap.

I went to bed mid-afternoon. But then I imagined him padding across the bed and under the futon with me.

Yujiro cries. I cry. Then he cries again.

Early afternoon we drove Okaasan to her new hula dance class and we went back to our old house to tell our neighbors about Bob-chan and give them some pictures.

They said they are now caring for Kuma...the stubby tailed stray that Bob always fought with. He is only 5 or 6, but he is sick and dieing. Bob is SO lucky that we spent the money on him to give him a long, long life.

And late this afternoon the vets sent a bouquet of white flowers.

It's a nice gesture. But it made me cry more. I've had so many white flowers recently from students because of Dad. I can't do white flowers anymore. I need something gaudy and tropical - something with lush LIFE.

And.

I opened my email this morning to find one from my step-aunt.

On Friday my step-mum was rushed from the local hospital to the city hospital with falling blood pressure and crises. It seemed to clear naturally. But it is a crises. Supposedly 4 weeks before discharge? i'm not sure what is happening now. I think she is still in the city hospital.

And.

A few minutes ago as I opened up this page to write, Yujiro walked into the room behind me and saw this Blog title on the computer screen. The computer was slow and I couldn't switch pages quick enough.

So I told him: I have a Blog about life in the past year. Would you liked to read it?

So THAT cat is now out of the bag.

I've always told myself...and anyone...that I don't write here what I wouldn't/don't say to friends anyway...but knowing he will read it is a strange feeling.

I don't bother watching American TV dramas anymore. What happens willynilly to me is more than enough.

Time to go downstairs and have dinner.