Who am I? :-)

Comes a time in every dementia story when recognizing loved ones becomes a problem: the vague feeling that the smiling face is connected...but not sure who...

Okaasan's take on this was a winner.

"Who am I?" asked Dear Son recently.

"You are Japanese!" countered Okaasan.

Brilliant.

Mainly she still know us, actually...a few  times she thinks Dear Son is her brother...so all is pretty ok still.

I've been away from the family for almost 2 weeks. Had a wonderful holiday in south central Japan - driving around in a camping car to explore the beaches, forests and tiny villages. Met friends to do two days hiking on the Kumano Kodo pilgrimage trails...oh...it was wonderful.
Living in Japan...but I don't explore it enough. Domestic travel used to be very expensive, and with family in the UK my holidays were locked in to the Return to Uk mode for years. 

But now, thanks to LCC air tickets...and Dear Son staying home with the cats - I could get away and have a real holiday in the country that has been home forever.

It was a great holiday. The Kumano Kodo trails in particular, now World Heritage, so there is lots of online free info to help plan. I managed two days of NINE mountain miles each day...which with my knee history was great.

Back home in Sapporo....changes are happening in Okaasan's care home..
The whole two-care-companies-in-one-home  thing finally imploded and droves of families appear to have left...presumably moving their elderly to a care home run by the old staff?
Okaasan's floor has 30 rooms. At the last count there are only 12 residents, and the old care staff - who were not allowed behind the nurse station and operated out of an office down the street - they are nowhere to be seen.

So, that is the result, inevitably, of all those angry meetings last year when the hospital/care home dropped the bombshell that they'd switched owners...and switched care companies...without telling any of the customers.
We decided to switch to the new care company...because it seemed to be the way the thing was going anyway...but many families didn't. We also didn't want to move Okaasan...she is settled there now and knows the environment and staff.

I guess she is having GREAT service now. Only 12 residents!

Winter carer

Hey!!!

Almost forgotten HOW to blog....which part of the website do I click on....

Hopefully this one...

Winter is here. First snow in Sapporo yesterday. Mostly gone from downtown, but out in the countryside it's all looking white.

Okaasan. How is she?

The latest meeting of care workers/nurses/doctors etc decided that her Care Service level has gone up to Level 5. I think there are 7 levels.

Level 5 means that she needs a nurse visit once a week to check on her overall health, and that the care home staff are doing much more support for toilet/walking and even feeding.

We have noticed a decline in her mental and physical abilities. She needs to be guided to do simple actions like sitting upright in a chair, or grasping onto a support bar. Not many full sentences now; inarticulate sounds like a small animal....laughs, grunts of agreement. A full exchange of communication is rare.

But she knows us...mostly. And is happy to see us.

We took her in the wheelchair for a car-ride downtown to see a flower festival. She just slumped and looked...not always at the flowers themselves...sometimes just at the wheelchair side bar.

But when we took her back to the familiar surroundings of the 10th floor of the care home...she actually said:

"Oh, I live here, this is my room...pink curtain!"

Mostly we go and try to get her to walk a little with the walking frame (above). Actually, once in it she is a fast walker...but tires quickly. And she needs major guidance on how to stand and reach into the frame from her wheelchair.

Lots of sleeping now. Staring at the TV.

But smiles and laughs.

Dear Son is away this week on the annual Trip South for Drinking. So I am stepping into my winter care role. I told Okaasan he was busy at a ski work meeting because he is an important person who will teach rich foreigners in English etc

She loves that story and laughed out loud: my son speaks English well enough to work and get paid extra. Ha ha!

We've replaced her black trousers, taken the red cardigan to the sewing shop for more repairs...life is trickling on.

I will go and see her once a week this winter. But, I don't feel confident enough to take her out in the car now on my own. Just getting her in and out of the car is hard, and toilets while out. It'll be care home visits - 10th floor and little trips to the lobby. 

A friend who reads this blog says I should include update here on Dear Son, me and cats....

So. 

Dear Son. Another summer of bike taxi work. He is about to start the ski season.

Cats - aged 10 now...fatter and fatter. But beginning to enjoy the fact that my English students come to the house for classes now. Moving the classroom here in the spring was a good idea....one of the cats even sits on my knee during classes.

Me: a summer of teaching and tour guide work. Very enjoyed the tour work - mainly day trips with guests from Asian countries. family groups to local beauty spots, some easy hikes. Steep learning curve in trying to do the social media for the tour company and writing a blog.

Next week I go off on holiday to central Japan, to hike with friends from the UK and enjoy temples and ancient forests. In a tiny camping car!

That's us.....thankyou for dropping by :-)

A mentor's news...

Long-time readers of this blog (who are obviously reading not much at all now...) may remember the Japanese documentary "Everyday is Alzheimer's/Mainichi ga Alzheimer's", and its director Yuka Sekiguichi and her mum Hiroko.

I learned a lot about this disease and how to care and stay positive from Yuka. Even organised a Sapporo screening of the first two films and she came to do a Q and A. All a few years back. She was definitely one of my mentors in this new route of life.

Sad to report that Hiroko, the lady who "starred" in these documentaries has died, just a few days after her 89th birthday. She celebrated her birth at home with family and cake...and then a few days later became weaker, needed breathing support and finally slipped away.
In the documentaries she was a feisty, funny and strong lady - and thru allowing her film maker daughter to film their family life helped many, many people face up to the realities of living with memory loss and emotional confusion. I always felt their message was: get on with family life and let yourself laugh at it all. Accept that there will be hard days and move on, with lots of love.

So. Thank you to Hiroko and Yuka, and their family, friends, helpers, doctors and film making team for sharing their story.

Our family?

Yes, we are still pottering along. Go to see Okaasan every week at the care home. She says less and less now. Smiles and noises more. Walks a little with the walking frame. Trips out in the wheelchair. Eating a lot. Onwards, onwards...

Quiet August...and changes

Okaasan IS ok...we actually saw her sitting upright yesterday...first time for me in about a month.

We visited the care home before lunch, to make sure we got her in the vertical position and awake. She was watching TV in the main room and we did a quick wheelchair trip outside in the local streets to enjoy fresh air.
Then a toilet stop inside.
Her standing in the toilet was very weak...and she was pretty confused about what to do with the toilet paper etc. AND not quite sure of her son's name...

Generally a decline cognitively this summer...and physically.

We will try and do a car trip to a lunch one day. But the staff say that she doesn't eat so much and often needs feeding to get her to take a little more nutrition. They have a stock of nutrition-in-a-can drinks to boost her, too.
Maybe a coffee shop trip is better. A whole lunch thing is unnecessary.

Ho hum. 89 years old....

Yesterday was a memory of our lives 10 years ago because it was the 10th anniversary of my dad's death (thank you "On this Day" Facebook). At that time we'd moved into this house with Okaasan and she was trotting out for a walk every afternoon. Often taking the subway downtown to her fave coffee shop and meeting another old lady.

MY life is much better now. Freedom from caring and cooking, and cross-cultural mis-understandings. Hopefully Okaasan's life is good too? Familiar and routine. Caring people bringing her food and drink, helping her exercise? A kind word, a laugh?
I hope so. Every time we go to the care home I feel the Leaver's Guilt...as we wave and smile and bow...heading for the elevator and our freedom. She doesn't strongly complain, but looks a little sad...and if we go back for a forgotten something she is soon engrossed in the TV or a drink cup, or food.

But still. A bit of guilt.

Not so happy birthday...

Okaasan was 89 years old last week.
In past years we've had trips out to crab restaurants etc - this year was very different, for planned and unplanned reasons.

I was not free at all - 3 days of tour guiding back to back - fun and challenging for me to show Hokkaido off to a lovely family group from Canada and the Philippines. But bang on the weekend that we hoped to celebrate with Okaasan.

Dear Son went in to the care home with a pudding and some decorated cookies, which Okaasan enjoyed with him. She knew he was him, she knew it was here birthday. All well.
Hokkaido has had a crazy 10 days straight of sizzling temperatures - about 30 C. Unbelievable here. We moved downstairs to sleep, leaving the front door open etc. Most homes here, and many businesses, don't actually have air con. So prolonged heat is hard.
But also hard to take Okaasan in her wheelchair outside...

But next day the care home called.
Okaasan had a fever, the doctor had visited...which of course is the main reason we chose this particularl care home. It is attached to a hospital and a doctor is never far away.

Dear Son went in again...Okaasan was so so.

Then yesterday we went together. The heat had broken and we hoped to do a wheelchair walk. Took in 3 pink T shirts I'd bought for her.

But fever again. In bed. Quiet. Not eating so much.

"What food does she really like, if we can tempt her with something?" asked the staff.

!!!! crab...gyoza...aloe yogurt...pizza....

We stayed for a short time to chat to her a little. But then left her to sleep some more. The doctor will check again. Recently they've been giving her regular IV supplement nutrition....to make sure she is taking in enough.

So. Not the planned birthday celebrations. Hopefully she will feel better later this week and we can go out together. BUt now is Obon time in Japan - when families all over return to hometowns and visit graveyards to remember the ancestors. Restaurants tend to be packed.

We'll see.

Back...with a "bang"

Almost injured Okaasan yesterday!

I bumped the wheelchair and she shot forwards and half fell into the road - screaming in pain and shock!

Me too.

Dear Son and I hauled her back into the chair and stroked her face and arms, reassuring her she was ok - praying she WAS ok...it was awful....I felt terrible...guilty as hell.
She seemed ok...maybe...but a few centimeters more she'd have been thrown face down on the pavement, or broken a leg or an arm in the fall - because she had no natural bracing-against-impact reaction. Fell like a sack of potatoes.

Happened just as we were heading back to the care home after a wheel chair push round the local streets...looking at flowers, pointing at things in shop windows. A windy day. Okaasan not very chatty...but we were doing the round.
Dear Son was walking next to the wheelchair and slightly in front - so she could see him. I was in charge of pushing - up and down the curbs - making sure to tilt the chair over steps etc. But this place looked almost flat..and I was not really focusing at walk-end...

OMG. It was awful.

The good thing was that she had forgotten about it within minutes.
But in the local shop as we bought drinks she was whole-body shaking - from the cold? from delayed shock? We didn't know. So we rushed her back to the care home and staff checked her vitals. All seemed ok. She could stand, move her legs. Heart rate was usual...they will monitor and let us now if there is any result from the incident.
Oh God. I hope not. It would be terrible that I am the cause of injury...

So. There we are. Mid-summer...that's us.

VERY sorry I haven't written for ages.
My life is a whirl of teaching and tour guiding. The latter particularly is busy of course with Hokkaido holiday season. People from all over the world here to see flower fields, blue pond, mountains and volcano scenery.
It's hard for me to turn down teaching work too - because the guide job is a feast or famine work situation. And a couple of big writing projects are hovering too.

Dear Son visits Okaasan every week. I didn't for almost a month...
Apparently she is ok, but the staff are worried that she is eating less. She is not so friendly to other residents...and walks a bit.

It's her birthday next month. Is a restaurant visit a good idea?  Easy, quick eating place with good toilet access. Have to find that. She also needs more summer style clothing.
Have to find the time to do that.

Mind not muscle?

Okaasan really is stronger than we thought - it's the brain power that is lacking.

Yesterday at the care home we found her in an ordinary chair by the TV.
She needed a toilet trip, so the staff brought the walking frame and guided Okaasan to stand up from the chair and...holding onto the table... to shuffle sideways and and shuffle some more into the frame.

She really could do it. It was surprising.

But she doesn't do it of her own volition. Each movement - hand grasp for support and foot movement - was guided, She just waited to be told what to do next.

I guess it's a bit of both. We, and care home staff, have over-supported her and she has got used to that and lost the power to make a decision about what to do next.

Anyway. Good visit.
We walked to the temple gardens with the wheelchair and had an ice cream in a convenience store.Shared some laughs.

I haven't been to see her in weeks...but of course she doesn't know that. Just smiley and happy to see me....and him. 
Onwards into summer :-)

2 years on...

Facebook helpfully reminded me that in May 2017 Okaasan fell down in the kitchen and ended up by November in the current care home.
I was surprised it was only two years. I felt so much longer...so many things have happened.

Now her room is a bright and welcoming English classroom, where students are beginning to settle in and the cats are free to come and go. HER room is at the top of a building downtown - with kind care workers to assist her every move, regular meals and a big TV....loving family visits every week.

I think it really was for the best. The few months after the fall with all the hospital treatments and the awfulness of being tied to a bed and changes in medication - that was grim.
But by late summer and into autumn she finally was physically and mentally stronger, and our care home choice was good. I wish she could see a garden from the windows - not just a cityscape, however I try to tell myself that her focus now is mainly on the TV or the cup of drink in front of her.

We went for Mother's Day, took a pink scarf as a present. Unfortunately, she had an itchy back for some reason and she was complaining about that constantly - the scarf was a momentary concern....but we had tea and snacks with her and Dear Son turned on the charm chat which made her laugh and relax.
The care home doctor has said that she is able to do MORE walking that she currently does, and should be got up out of the wheelchair more and urged to walk....the staff don't really have the time for that, although she walks on the 3 times a week day service visits.

And.

I guess I will have more time...because the old students/friend who has been in hospital for over a year with a brain wasting disease - she died at the weekend. I attended the wake - with a room of crying bus drivers and guides (she was a bus guide) and I have other stuff to do in connection with her death - helping another foreign friend write a letter to her family.

I am happy she has finally died. To see someone, once so active, just in a bed unresponsive for so long. It was hard. Her mother doesn't even live in this city and had to take a 3 hour train journey to visit her.
In the last week her condition became worse and many friends went to say goodbye. On the morning of the day she died I had dropped off a clean bed towel.

Visiting that hospital and walking in the fields of the agricultural college nearby have been part of my routine for over a year. So now I can turn my energy to Okaasan more and help her to enjoy the summer season.

The good son

People can surprise you. Even after years of knowing them.

Dear Son - the noisy, beer-drinking guy guy....who tells awful jokes, makes slightly embarrassing comments to people he's just met etc etc...really. he IS a good person.

Well, of course - I met and fell in love with the guy and share his life. So he must be good. But, seeing him with his mother really brings it home to me.

Last week on our visit to the Place Where Two Day Care Company's Operate 5 Meters Away From Eachother.

Okaasan was in bed again. Constipation problems. Feeling tired.
We got her up and in the chair, walking with the stroller.
Major toilet reactions, of course. So the three of us spent a lot of time in the toilet together. 
Dear Son was jokey and kind and surprisingly sensitive with his mother and her most personal of needs. It was wonderful to see him in action with toilet paper and under clothes. What a star ;-)

By the end Okaasan was fine, she enjoyed our visit and we left her by the big TV at the end. Her conversation is very patchy now. A lot of times she just "zones out" and closes her eyes...

Good weather and cherry blossoms are here now and today we are going to take her out in the park.

After our visit last week we spent two hours trawling thru local department stores trying to buy a dark red, wool cardigan for Okaasan. NOT man made fibers. Pretty hard in April because everything was spring clothing. 
Oh. I hate shopping. Give me toilet activities and walks up and down the care home corridor, any day - shopping for Okaasan is hell for me. Such stress. At least now we can go do the shopping without her, so I guess that is one rank down of stress :-)

Beginnings...

 

Yikes!

Has it really been so many weeks since the last blog posting?

Sumimasen....(Japanese for sorry, for all situations).

April is the month of new starts in Japan: school, job, home, move home...

For us too this year: Okaasan and the care company; me and the English classroom at home...

Oh...and Japan is in the last month of the Heisei era and about to enter a new era (Reiwa) as the old Emperor retires and his son takes the helm.

A lotta new.

Okaasan and the care company

Well, no huge drama...but a few worrying things.

The new company staff have control of the staff desk area, the old staff are reduced to sitting in the lounge with residents, or in resident rooms...and have to take things back and forth from a nearby rented office space.

It seems as if about 5 of the old residents have moved out. Hard to know how many current residents are with the old/new company - there are always staff of both on duty. Okaasan's company staff are a little over-the-top friendly of trying too hard.

But...worrying....

1) The general lounge area is empty of any cute season decorations, the little origami stuff, the pictures - the things that brighten the walls of a modern, cement building - the things which tell residents it is now "spring" or "Children's Festival" or "April".

It really is just a room, with big plastic tables, chairs, a TV and not much else.

We hope this is temporary: that they are getting important stuff like resident schedules and staff duties in place, before the decorations.

2) Okaasan seems to be spending more time in her room, in bed, sort of sleeping. Until now, when we went to visit she was almost always in her wheelchair in the lounge with other residents - glued to the TV.

Now she is often in her own room, in bed.

Not actually sick, or tired. 

But why? Is it easier for the new care company staff to just put the old people to bed, and leave them there alone? Easier than entertaining them in the (bare) main room? IT doesn't bode well. The big TV and things happening around her is better than alone in bed in a quiet room.

We will see....in herself she appears fine. Dear Son has visited a lot.

English classroom at home

Finally, getting classes underway in the new space - and I am getting used to essentials such as keeping the house entrance hall clean, making sure I get OUT of cat hairy clothes in time before students arrive...

The room is wide and sunny. Seems like a good space. Parking has to be juggled a little in the schedule, and it's still hit or miss whether students will find the house...or end up in the local builder's parking area.

My old classroom, in the rented apartment - has already got new people moving in. I saw them cleaning the other night. Strange feeling.

But :-) Had a few more tour guiding jobs, getting more into a flow with that after the long, quiet winter...had some fun tours with fun people - seeing Hokkaido winter transition into spring. My whole teaching work shakeup was a stress, and I did it to allow me more time to do the tours...and so far, so good.

Onwards :-)

OH! Oh!!!

And QUEEN and Adam Lambert are coming to Japan in January 2020 - just announced tour dates....going going going!!!!

but that has nothing to do with this blog....

Rooms with memories....

TEN years ago we moved to this house with Okaasan...and really started life together. In a big old house in the Sapporo suburbs. We basically lived upstairs and she had two big rooms downstairs.

The picture at the top of this blog was taken that day. Okaasan and me, sitting on the sofa in her newly arranged room, which we had set up with a big TV, a heated table, clothes hanging place, futons etc etc

She never really used both rooms. The tatami room became a clothes - and SO much more - store...bags...bags...bags...old bits of food...shoes....Hawaiian dance stuff....knickknacks...

She lived in the main room - slept/ate/had toilet accidents/watched hours of TV/fiddled around with magazines and newspapers....SO much of what's happened to us happened in that room. Laughs and anger. Cross-cultural warzone.

And then...finally...life for Okaasan here became too hard. The fall...the broken bone...the incapacity..the raging fury....the hospitals and care homes...it became clear she would never come back. In fact we don't risk even a visit here, in case it sparks off confusion about where "home" is. She proudly and happily now calls her 10th floor room and the care home her "home".

Since then it's taken me two years to clear out the rooms here at our home - get rid of stuff/keep essentials. We've used the rooms for guests and drying laundry. The cats have moved in, with great joy, to the old carpet in front of the heater. In our conversation the room has changed from "Okaasan's room", to "Chichi's room" and "the downstairs room"....

And now. A new era is born.

 

Yes, there is the old sofa....the very cleaned floor (we all know what happened on THAT floor!)...the blue curtains. Cat.

It's about to become an English classroom. Somehow. By next week....

I decided to make some big changes in my work life: close the rented apartment which I've used for over 11 years and move the lessons to home. Rearrange some other teaching too and try to free up more time for tour guide work. That's the grand plan.

The past few weeks have been a stressed time of trying to make those changes. A lot of goodbyes to students. Changes which will be good, I hope. But at the moment, just feel like stress.

So. this room with all its memories....about to make some new memories. :-)

* We went and saw Okaasan yesterday. Took her out in the car to a shopping mall and had a wheelchair walk and coffee. She IS much more confused about doing simple physical things now, getting in and out of the car, the toilet etc And as we sat in a Hawaiian themed cafe we asked her if she'd been to Hawaii...

She said she'd never been. Had no memories of that...no memories of much to do with Hawaii....so sad....I listened to that story a million times...and now it is MY memory. Not hers.

:-(

Out with the old...in with...???

Okaasan's care home service provider changes.
What a Balls Up.

Another big meeting yesterday.
Looks like the new company hoped to take over the contract and use the existing staff. But the staff are loyal to the old company, because it rescued them from a previous company that went bankrupt...

Some families (like us) have signed with the new company.
Some families have stayed with the old company.
The Old company hopes to open another home, elsewhere in the city - and some families plan to move their elderly to that.
And information about the elderly residents can't be shared between the staff of the different companies - for privacy legal reasons.

And from April 1st there will be staff from TWO different care companies operating on the same floor!! But the old company staff won't be allowed to stand behind the nurse station counter or use those call machines etc, using a telephone system instead.

Yes. That's right.

30 elderly residents on the same floor, using the same shared lounge, toilets etc - will be under the daily care of different company staff....
Can't fathom how THAT will work.
If an old person falls in the toilet and the staff from the "other" company come running, will they actually step away and NOT help?

There were no clear answers at the meeting yesterday. 

While Dear Son enjoyed all of that, I actually did the Okaasan visit.
Bundled her up in her coat and took her for a wheelchair trip round the local streets, to the cafe in the convenience store for a drink.
She is pretty passive now. Happy in a way. But just looks around at life.
NO interest at all in buying a women's magazine - so strange that she used to live to buy and read these magazines just a few years ago. Now, no interest.
We stopped to look in an antique shop window and the friendly owner came out for a chat...Okaasan told him she had been born in Tokyo....a lady who has always felt GREAT pride in her Kawagoe birthplace. Definitely NOT Tokyo. I was surprised...
Such familiar things are falling away from her? Magazines? Birthplace?

Back in the care home I left her with a cup of coffee in front of the TV and joined the families for the Balls Up Meeting.

What a mess.

I just hope that Japanese people being so Japanese - the actual day to day care on the 10th and 11th floors will go well - because they staff of the two different companies will cooperate with eachother. 
But it's a strange situation

Changes....

Sunday afternoon we are at the care home.
In the big room used for karaoke and social things. Us and lots of other middle aged people. The Families. 
Big meeting with the management and staff.

We discover that the recently announced Change of Building Ownership - actually happened...last year...in October. And we just hear about it now! New owner is a real estate company...obviously just an asset sale. Big block of land in central Sapporo, with this care home and hospital on it.

The Families are not happy.....lots of grumblings about how late this news was passed on.

Short coffee break.

Then 10th and 11th Floor Families have another meeting - and hear that in April...just over 4 weeks away - the company that provides the care for our dearly beloved - THAT will change too. And the staff may change....

The grumblings grew louder.
Japanese people are slow to complain, but when they do....one after another they took the microphone and got and more direct with the management about how badly this had all been handled.
Why weren't we told earlier?
What kind of service change?
Costs?
Staff?

Was there actually any choice in this...because they want us to sign new contracts by March 8th.
It all seemed a bit like British politics to me - Prime Minister May's "My Deal or No Deal" for Brexit.

Of course, nobody knows if they new care company will be worse or better. We are happy with the staff now, and of course hope they continue - but if salaries and work conditions offered by the new company are not good - who can blame them for jumping ship?

So.....we'll just sign the documents and hope for the best.

Care homes in Japan. Big booming business now. Understaffed - really REALLY need more staff for all these care companies.
We are just the customers...hoping for the best.

Up and walking agin

Okaasan is up and about.
Phew!
A little quieter and confused. But able to stand and walk with her walking frame.
Big relief.
We went together on saurday and did a visit. She was in the main room watching Tv in her wheelchair. Happy to see us and we did a small walk up and down the care home corridors and shared a coffee in the downstairs lobby of the next door hospital.

She was noticeably quieter...her gaze drifted around and she had to be called back into a conversation a few times. But good.
Her floor at the care home doesn't have influenza any more - although other areas of the home do - so we hope she's escaped the usual winter influenza outbreak. We did too - touch wood. Pretty healthy :-)

Hot and Cold

Hey.
Happy Sapporo Snow Festival.

I live in the city where every February over 2 million people come to enjoy snow and ice statues in the city park.
It has got far more commercialized over recent years - more food than actual snow - but still I think it's a fun event and the city is teaming with visitors.
I had two guests staying, plus a whole slew of work - it was a busy time.

And Okaasan.
Another round of influenza hit her care home - she didn't catch it. But she got a fever for several days and stayed in bed over a week.
I went in to see her twice, Dear Son too. She was sleeping a lot. Not eating, as usual. But actually ok - talked a bit in a funny, raspy voice and laughed a little too while watching Tv in her room.

Hoping that we/the care staff can get her UP and OUT of bed soon. Her leg and hip power hasn't been great this winter and a week in bed will make that worse.
Dear Son is back - maybe - tomorrow, so we'll try this weekend to get her up and into the wheelchair at least.

But, a bit of guilty relief. She is the care home's problem day to day with this. Not mine. If she were here at home - she would be on the carpet downstairs...with toilet problems etc etc and I'd be changing diapers and trying to rescue the carpet and the flooring.....
All of THAT isn't happening now. Not my worry. SO glad she is in care!

Downstairs....things are happening.

I have taken the plunge and decided to close the classroom in the rented apartment one station away - and move the classes to Okaasan's old rooms downstairs. Move the English work to home....
And stop three of my community center classes. Some of which I've done for over 10 years. And all of this will hopefully free up more time to do more tour guide work. No guarantees...but maybe.

It's all a big change in my working life. But the tour guide work is something I enjoy a lot, and at 57 years old it is rare to get the chance to do a new line of work. So I am going to grab the chance - while keeping one foot firmly (and economically safely!) in English teaching.

I took the decision at Christmas. But students are finding out now - so I can write about it here.

March is going to be a busy month....closing the classroom that I've rented for over 10 years and in a rented truck moving it all here...and setting OKaasan's old rooms for work.

Oh! and in March...we are going to try another camper van trip. This time in winter...and for skiing over a long weekend.

Onwards with all of that...

Takes two to wheelchair.

Family trip out.
We managed a trip downtown in the wheelchair - with Dear Son and I working in unison to make it all go well.

It DOES need two people. Specially in winter, with the snow and ice.

Okaasan appeared to enjoy the trip out. We first drove a short distance to an area near an elevator that goes down into the underground shopping mall in the city center. Walked all along the "street" with shops, then stopped at a coffee shop, and walked all the way back again. Then, I ran to get the car again and we loaded OKaasan back inside it and drove her back to the care home. About 90 mins.

First time for her out in months.....beyond the care home walls.....she didn't talk so much, waited passively to be told where to put her feet and hands. Didn't drink so much of the coffee, but appeared to enjoy the sights and sounds of downtown.

Needed two of us. The car and the parking and the toilets.

This could be turning into a toilet blog.

Twice in the trip Okaasan needed a toilet visit. The first time we found big public toilets in the station concourse. Wheelchair friendly, but cold seat and cold water. But both Dear Son and I could go inside.

2nd time not so lucky.
A hotel shopping area had narrow toilets. No wheelchair access. 
Dear Son had to hang outside while I took Okaasan into the Ladies, managed to squeeze the chair into the largest cubical doorway (couldn't close the door), and help Okaasan stand, then get her clothing pulled up and down, get her safely turned round and sitting....and peeing...and using paper...and standing...and dressed and ....back into the chair.
She is not good now at standing even. Not strong. She holds on with both hands to something and kind of sways....in a tight space, with layers of winter clothing...it's like that game where people get tangled up in funny position after taking an instruction card which says "Now put your left leg behind your partner's ear" or "Now, stand on one leg".

The toilet dance.

But. We did a day out. Okaasan enjoyed it. No big crisis.
Makes me SO aware of facilities for wheelchairs.....

How far can we go????

Time was....
I worried about overstepping personal boundaries by going into the bathroom when Okaasan was in the bath....

Those far off days.

She peed on my hand this week....

A certain orange, so-called leader of a big country would maybe to role swap with me now? I could do a better at HIS job than him, for sure. And he - if those allegedly scandalous stories hold any water - might enjoy some toilet action.

At the care home...chatting, snacking and furtively trying to measure leg lengths for the new pajamas and trousers.

Toilet visit. Okaasan in high spirits, just like a small child:
"It's coming out! I'm peeing!!"
"Ok? You finished? Great! Well done! Can you stand up for me?"

and I was fishing around in her undies to remove the wet diaper...

"Oh! It's coming out! I'm peeing!!"

Oh yes, indeedy.

Aghhh...the things we do for love. I expect Dear Son was skiing down a sun-dappled  course with a sweet family from Taiwan..thinking what beer he was going to drink later...while I was in a toilet experience with his mother.

Anyway.
I asked the staff to come help me - to get Okaasan out of the pants, the trousers...change it all...mop the floor...and then stand up again....

Kind of a new low, really. Lack of toilet control - and lack of timing completely.

But funny. She laughed. I laughed....

The new trousers seemed ok. I'm getting the pajamas sewn shorter.

Onwards.....

Oh. Hi.

Too late to say Happy New Year??

I was jolted out of my winter funk yesterday by a dear reader asking in comments if I was still alive and blogging....

Yes. And...not so much.

Where DID the winter holiday go? I remember a day of skiing. And a few days eating chocolate in front of Netflix. I ran around the house with a piece of string to entertain the cats.

Okaasan is good.
I HAVE visited her. Dear Son - home between ski jobs - also went.
The care home asked me to buy more pajamas and trousers for her, as she is now fatter - she basically forgets the "No food before 11 am"  mantra and joins everyone else eating breakfast. L size clothes will be too long in the leg for her, so I'll have to shop, measure, get them adjusted and deliver them.
I went at Christmas. I went on January 1st. The care home has seasonal decorations and foods. She is in a good place. I didn't take her out in the car because the care home entrance was icy, and one person with the wheelchair and checking her...it's all a bit hard.

My winter holidays got swallowed up in a lot of stuff.

* Old friends sent their college age daughter to stay with me for 2 and a half weeks.
* I did 3 different day trips as a tour guide - still making beginner mistakes and learning a LOT. But it's fun. Visitors from Indonesia and the Philippines - people LOVE Japan! Come many times and love the food, the manners, the public order.....
* I did a biggish narration job for a TV documentary - voicing the 2nd MC on the program. Interesting program about the psychology of how we use things. I hope it gets sold to TV companies around the world.
*  I met an old friend for just coffee. Disappointed I didn't have energy for more.
* I was exhausted.
* I made work change plans for later this year...
* I disappeared into Netflix. The drama "You" and now into the Marie Kondo cleaning program. 

So. Still here.
There is an influenza outbreak at the hospital where my friend is comatose. So visiting is restricted.

Oh. And I joined a UK walking magazine's "Walk 1,000 Miles" campaign - measuring my walking in my smartphone and hoping to burn off the Xmas chocolates. :-)