Oyomesan did bare minimum service for Okaasan yesterday.
Made lunch. Got her to the table. Chatted for about 3 minutes about the weather. Left her to eat it. Went out to get sushi for her dinner. Set it out on the table mid-afternoon in a coldbox. Called her into the kitchen and explained it to her. Left her to it.
The rest of the Sunday I did my own thing - round the side of the house with the ever confidently-exploring kittens, reading newspapers, watching TV, email...sleep.....and went out late afternoon to meet friends and Yujiro downtown for all the fun of the Yosakoi Dance Festival. Ate beer and meat downtown and came home later. Even the knee was ok-ish and I could walk about 3 city blocks with the help of a stick.
But my servicing of Okaasan was the basic needed.
She isn't to blame for the last few days of evening wandering and absences from dinner ready on the table. But it leaves me with a "Don't Care" attitude. Why bother to put effort into her when there isn't anything back?
I'd rather have a day off and enjoy it.
Can't be bothered to sit in the kitchen and give her some chattime.
I know it's bad. She needs some mental stimulation.
But it's easier to let her just sit in front of the TV and shuffle around doing hand laundry.
Some of my students think I'm some kind of sweet woman for taking on the co-caring of Okaasan. But they have a false impression. In English classes I am animated and friendly. But I'm paid to be that. It's my job.
When I'm home and resting up it takes super-effort to make an effort for Okaasan. If she had a Japanese daughter-in-law she'd get so much more chat. I am absolulutely guilty of getting by with the minimum of human to human interaction.
I confess it.
Monday, 14 June 2010
Sunday, 13 June 2010
Two Sittings of Dinner.
Out at 6 pm - and back at 9 pm. And then wants dinner.
Sometimes (ok, often) I feel like murdering this old lady.
I know. I know. It's the dementia playing havoc with her sense of time and decision-making.
But the results play havoc with my patience.
Being already over-tired from dawn FIFA World Cup soccer games on TV doesn't help.
Yesterday Yujiro worked. I worked. Okaasan stayed home and watched TV...ate bits of stuff in the kitchen. Maybe went out for lunch too.
On my way home I shopped. Came home at 5 pm. Relaxed with a beer, the newspaper and kittens.
At 6 pm Okaasan suddenly appeared in the garden and was heading out.
I told her the time and reminded her about "dinner at 7 pm, in 1 hour".
Yujiro came home. I cooked dinner. We ate dinner.
At 8 pm Yujiro called Okaasan. She was somewhere near Sapporo Station. Who knows why.
She got home at 9 pm.
Oh - yes. Dinner please. Heated up the soup, rice. Cooked the fish. Uncovered the salad and tofu plate etc. Served her.
We left her in the kitchen eating and went to bed. We had a 4 am plan to get up for two soccer games...
I know she doesn't do it on purpose, she is just sitting there staring at the Tv/magazines/bits of paper all day and her mind gets active late afternoon....and then once she is out she loses the sense of time and the knowledge that we are wating with dinner. Sometimes she DOES manage to remember and come home after only an hour. But times like last night....no. I know all that.
But doing Two Sittings of Dinner at the Hotel Okaasan isn't pleasing the help.
Here endeth the whinge.
PS oh and another....British goalkeeper Green is a tosser.
Sometimes (ok, often) I feel like murdering this old lady.
I know. I know. It's the dementia playing havoc with her sense of time and decision-making.
But the results play havoc with my patience.
Being already over-tired from dawn FIFA World Cup soccer games on TV doesn't help.
Yesterday Yujiro worked. I worked. Okaasan stayed home and watched TV...ate bits of stuff in the kitchen. Maybe went out for lunch too.
On my way home I shopped. Came home at 5 pm. Relaxed with a beer, the newspaper and kittens.
At 6 pm Okaasan suddenly appeared in the garden and was heading out.
I told her the time and reminded her about "dinner at 7 pm, in 1 hour".
Yujiro came home. I cooked dinner. We ate dinner.
At 8 pm Yujiro called Okaasan. She was somewhere near Sapporo Station. Who knows why.
She got home at 9 pm.
Oh - yes. Dinner please. Heated up the soup, rice. Cooked the fish. Uncovered the salad and tofu plate etc. Served her.
We left her in the kitchen eating and went to bed. We had a 4 am plan to get up for two soccer games...
I know she doesn't do it on purpose, she is just sitting there staring at the Tv/magazines/bits of paper all day and her mind gets active late afternoon....and then once she is out she loses the sense of time and the knowledge that we are wating with dinner. Sometimes she DOES manage to remember and come home after only an hour. But times like last night....no. I know all that.
But doing Two Sittings of Dinner at the Hotel Okaasan isn't pleasing the help.
Here endeth the whinge.
PS oh and another....British goalkeeper Green is a tosser.
Saturday, 12 June 2010
Soran! Soran!
It's festival time in Sapporo - and Okaasan was down there last night in the thick of it.
Yujiro and I stayed home. Ate sensible dinner. Watched Tv. Went to bed at 9.30 pm.
Who is the senior citizen here?
I got home at 5.30 pm and Okaasan was just getting herself together to go out: we talked about the time and dinner and she said she'd probably eat down in the Yosakoi Festival. Massive dance event in Sapporo this weekend. Thousands of dancers in the streets, thousands of people watching.
Okaasan borrowed some money from me and set off.
And came back at 9 pm - tired but very happy!
This is one strong 80 year-old.
Yujiro and I ate dinner quietly together (had to eat at home because I'd bought raw squid), then TV...and went to bed early so we could get up for THE 2010 FIFA WORLD CUP.....................................YEAH!!!!! There isn't going to be much sleep in this house for the next 6 weeks....a LOT of early morning TV watching....luckily as the kittens are awake now at 4.30 am...so I have to escort them outside round the dawn smells...and then back to the Beautiful Game.
* On Hawaii. Yujiro has told Okaasan that nobody else in her class is going on the tour. So maybe not a good idea to go....and that he'll go with her to Hawaii in November etc....of course hoping that she forgets that as an idea...he says she accepted all of that. We'll see....if the hula dance class don't talk about it...and we don't talk about Hawaii...then maybe the idea will drift away again.
Yujiro and I stayed home. Ate sensible dinner. Watched Tv. Went to bed at 9.30 pm.
Who is the senior citizen here?
I got home at 5.30 pm and Okaasan was just getting herself together to go out: we talked about the time and dinner and she said she'd probably eat down in the Yosakoi Festival. Massive dance event in Sapporo this weekend. Thousands of dancers in the streets, thousands of people watching.
Okaasan borrowed some money from me and set off.
And came back at 9 pm - tired but very happy!
This is one strong 80 year-old.
Yujiro and I ate dinner quietly together (had to eat at home because I'd bought raw squid), then TV...and went to bed early so we could get up for THE 2010 FIFA WORLD CUP.....................................YEAH!!!!! There isn't going to be much sleep in this house for the next 6 weeks....a LOT of early morning TV watching....luckily as the kittens are awake now at 4.30 am...so I have to escort them outside round the dawn smells...and then back to the Beautiful Game.
* On Hawaii. Yujiro has told Okaasan that nobody else in her class is going on the tour. So maybe not a good idea to go....and that he'll go with her to Hawaii in November etc....of course hoping that she forgets that as an idea...he says she accepted all of that. We'll see....if the hula dance class don't talk about it...and we don't talk about Hawaii...then maybe the idea will drift away again.
Friday, 11 June 2010
Hawaii plans??? Oh no!!!!!
Okaasan wants to go to Hawaii on a Hula Dance Tour......
Yikes!
Yujiro just got a call from Ohta-san, the ever-so-helpful hula classmate.
There's tour to Hawaii for hula dance watching/performing and it's open to groups/classes all over Hokkaido, maybe Japan.
Okaasan apparently told her teacher: YES! I'D LIKE TO GO!
Only problem is: nobody else in Okaasan's class is going. So, who would keep and eye on her, who would make sure she understood/remembered all the different elements of getting together and staying with a group as it goes through airports and checks into hotels and rooms and performance centers and sightseeing spots and restaurants and shops...and ...and....YIKES!
Ohta-san knows this. And thankfully she telephoned to tell us.
Somehow Yujiro has to find a way of disuading Okaasan from this idea. Gently.
It's hard. Part of me thinks that actually she might be ok. After all she knows the whole concept of Going on a Japanese Escorted Tour very well, in the past she has made many tours like this alone and with friends to South Africa, New York, Europe, Canada etc. . Japanese tours are very organised and protected.
But on the other hand - that was about 6 or 7 years ago - now with early/mid stage dementia I wonder how she would get on?
All new places? Time schedules. People giving information about future plans. Choices about food and optional tours. Being in places at set times. "Let's meet back here at XX".
Just getting to her hotel room, using a keycard and getting to the hotel restaurant would be a challenge.
If I think about the practical hour-to-hour routine of a tour I can imagine Okaasan getting into endless confusions about it all. She'd be a real headache for the the tour guide and members. Somebody would have to constantly check she was ok. (We could of course fit Okaasan with the Locator chips that we use for the kitten collars....)
Sad. I know she can't go. No way are either of us going to go on a Hawaiian Hula Dance Tour with her....so...somehow Yujiro has to find a way to nip this idea in the bud.
Yikes!
Yujiro just got a call from Ohta-san, the ever-so-helpful hula classmate.
There's tour to Hawaii for hula dance watching/performing and it's open to groups/classes all over Hokkaido, maybe Japan.
Okaasan apparently told her teacher: YES! I'D LIKE TO GO!
Only problem is: nobody else in Okaasan's class is going. So, who would keep and eye on her, who would make sure she understood/remembered all the different elements of getting together and staying with a group as it goes through airports and checks into hotels and rooms and performance centers and sightseeing spots and restaurants and shops...and ...and....YIKES!
Ohta-san knows this. And thankfully she telephoned to tell us.
Somehow Yujiro has to find a way of disuading Okaasan from this idea. Gently.
It's hard. Part of me thinks that actually she might be ok. After all she knows the whole concept of Going on a Japanese Escorted Tour very well, in the past she has made many tours like this alone and with friends to South Africa, New York, Europe, Canada etc. . Japanese tours are very organised and protected.
But on the other hand - that was about 6 or 7 years ago - now with early/mid stage dementia I wonder how she would get on?
All new places? Time schedules. People giving information about future plans. Choices about food and optional tours. Being in places at set times. "Let's meet back here at XX".
Just getting to her hotel room, using a keycard and getting to the hotel restaurant would be a challenge.
If I think about the practical hour-to-hour routine of a tour I can imagine Okaasan getting into endless confusions about it all. She'd be a real headache for the the tour guide and members. Somebody would have to constantly check she was ok. (We could of course fit Okaasan with the Locator chips that we use for the kitten collars....)
Sad. I know she can't go. No way are either of us going to go on a Hawaiian Hula Dance Tour with her....so...somehow Yujiro has to find a way to nip this idea in the bud.
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