NV or not to be....

The one toilet accident last Friday become two - another on Saturday.

The washed, dried carpet tile spent about 3 hours back in its place - and then was hauled off into the bathroom again for cleaning. A new toilet mat hadn't even made its appearance.

Okaasan denied she had any soiled clothes in her room and Dear Son accepted her denial.
But when she went to the toilet again a few hours later I ran into her room and found it all folded up in a newspaper, nesting on top of the spare room heater.

Grim.
Did Okaasan have the dreaded Norovirus that is common at the moment among school kids and nursing home residents? Was it just forgetting to go to the toilet in time - twice in 72 hours?
She hadn't eaten anything unusual or a large amount.

We waited another 24 hours.
Okaasan seemed "down" over the weekend. Ate silently, didn't speak much. Shuffling around under a cloud. Was that the continuing bad feeling after two toilet accidents, or was it a worsening condition?

Okaasan with Norovirus would be haaaaard. Trying to do all the cleaning and keeping things hygienic, when she wouldn't remember the details and probably resent constant checking. Only bright spot would be she'd probably stop eating.

By Sunday night she seemed a little brighter. Sunday had passed with no accidents.
She seemed back on track.
Relief!

I told day center on Tuesday, felt it was only fair.
They wanted to know if she had had or still had a temperature. Of course they can't risk having a virus-carrier in the center. I hadn't actually checked that, of course. All I could say was that the toilet problems appeared to have gone. And she seemed fine again.
They accepted her to go.

* Bathroom.
Dear Son got Okaasan to have a bath after the 2nd accident. But she couldn't get UP from the little shower seat. We went and bought a much higher seat for her...and for us :-) This time he was right - she was in the shower for ages and he actually opened the door and went in and helped her stand up. Recently when she was in the bathroom for ages I called to her from outside the door - to check for signs of life - but I didn't actually open the door and go in. I should have done.

Assisted living

That would be me. Not her.

My living assistant Dear Son had a whole week at home! Hence no blogging, cos he made it all run smoothly.
I sailed off to work without a care in the world and he worried about shopping and cooking and snow clearing.

Happy.
So much easier.
Couple time of dinner with friends, lots of TV, planning my birthday ski trip next month, watching Olympics on TV.

We did lots of family stuff with Okaasan. Lunches and dinners out locally, and took her to the Sapporo Snow Festival. She walked half the length of the park gripping his hand firmly.

And we enjoyed all the huge human and animal forms in snow that this year's festival had to offer.

SUCH a good week...I even managed to slip out between classes for an afternoon ski at the local ski slope overlooking the city. I love it that there is skiing just a 20 min drive from home.

And that was it really. At the end of the week Okaasan had a major toilet accident and hid it all in her laundry basket. Luckily she lives with us, so I could sneak into her room within hours and remove it all. If she lived alone it would just stay there, forgotten for sure.

The dirty clothes and the toilet mat were beyond rescue. We threw them away. The toilet carpet tile could be washed.

And so another week.

I read a blog about a woman whose husband has suffered from Lewy Body Dementia for years. This week he died. In hospital with his wife and daughter there at the bedside. And she blogged so beautifully about it. Sharing such a personal time.

Blogging is so strange. The happy and the sad. My blog is usually upbeat, the wacky, frustrating side of life. But her blog reminded me of how terrible this disease is and how it takes away so much of a person from the people they know and love.

Okaasan will be 83? 84? this year and her death at this age would not be unusual or shocking, far younger people have forms of dementia and lose their lives young.

A thought going out  to all the carers around the world.

Just a little thing.... :-)

I PASSED Level 4 of the Japanese Test! I really did. A wonderful end to the week :-)

And my Listening? Yup, that would be a PERFECT score...because I get to listen to Dear Son and Okaasan waffling on and on and on and on and on....

I think the other sections was a borderline pass - 57 out of 120 isn't so good....but....who cares.

It is a pass and I am a little step nearer becoming an amazing talented volunteer at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics.

Roll on Level 3....July.

* No, there isn't a hole in my pass certificate, I just whited out my name and birth date. Probably not a good idea to spread that information all over the Internets. Although if you trawl thru this blog you could discover probable ATM passwords...pet names, favorite movies, mother's maiden name and the first record I bought.

"I can do it!"......or not...

Carer's ego trip.
I sometimes wonder: "If I stopped doing all the things I do for Okaasan. What would happen? How much could she do herself? All the planning, shopping, cooking, serving, washing up, laundry, cleaning, money managing, arranging of life's necessities....if I just stopped. What would happen?"

I get a glimpse of the answer when I am away from home for a few days and Dear Son does most of the above. But not the cleaning or the laundry. It's a male thing, isn't it? I come home to a carpet strewn with newspapers and supermarket flyers, old bits of food and lunch boxes nestling down under it all, random underpants and socks. Unwashed tea cups with dried tea stains.

And that's just our 2nd floor living room. :-)

But, seriously. I do wonder. How much could Okaasan cope? She wouldn't starve. She could buy or find food and eat it. Maybe cold. She can go to the toilet herself. The trash would mount up around her ears. But she would get by. I guess.
When Dear Son found her 5 years ago in her house near Tokyo she was "getting by" in a trash filled home with money and rotting food, paper and clothes around her. Eating at a local restaurant every day and fighting with the post office about money she believed it had stolen from her.
Which is why he brought her to live with us. So the trash wouldn't mount up, the food would be served and the money guarded.

Last night turned into a little experiment. In "cooking"...well in heating up pre-cooked dinner, serving and eating it.

Okaasan came home from a successful day care trip. Had enjoyed a bath, lunch, chat and a movie with popcorn!
At 5 pm I was starting to prepare her dinner to put into flasks before I headed out for evening work.
I usually do this once she has settled down by the TV, it avoids all the confusing conversation (and my guilt) about yes-I-am-going-out-you-have-to-eat-alone. I prep it all, put it on the table and then cheerfully tell her just as I am leaving.

This time she found me starting the prepping.
"Oh, you don't need to do that! You are busy, I can wait till later! I can do it myself!"
"You can? Usually you don't. So Dear Son and I prepare for you. Recently you don't cook, we help you, don't we? Can you do it tonight? Wonderful....okay....thankyou..."

So I left her to it.
I left pre-cooked  rice and a tofu dish in plastic boxes for reheating. I  left spinach and soy sauce. I left the instant soup packets. All on the kitchen counter.

Very interested to see what would happen.

A snow storm, work and delicious local curry restaurant dinner alone...came home about 9.15 pm.

All the food boxes and food was on the kitchen counter exactly as I'd left them at 5 pm.
Okaasan was in her room watching TV.

Oh well. Guess she wasn't hungry  after day center popcorn. She slept and watched TV instead.

I put the food in the fridge and went upstairs. TV, wine, cats, e mails....get ready for bed.

9.45 pm a little voice comes echoing up the stairs:"Amanda-san! Amanda-san!".
"Are you home? I didn't eat anything! I'm hungry! Is there any dinner?"

So back to the kitchen and got the food out again. Heated it up. Okaasan standing there hugging herself and looking a bit manic. She didn't remember anything about the 5 pm "I'll do it myself" conversation of course. 

Had just watched TV and slept and watched TV through the evening until the hunger drove her into the kitchen/or she vaguely heard me coming home....waited to be fed...but nothing came...so emerged into the kitchen and then, seeing no food on the table or counter...didn't look in the fridge...went to the bottom of the stairs to call for help.

So. If we weren't making and serving food at set times of the day, she would be hunting for food at random times when hungry. Would that be bad? I guess in the long run - yes. The routine of the days, the mealtimes would all get blended into a stream of TV/sleep/eat/TV/sleep/eat.

It is probably better that she is kept on a routine of lunch at 12, dinner at 7. Now it is daytime. Now it is nighttime. 
So. I have a value :-)
As I said, carer's ego trip.