Social services have reappraised Okaasan and the level of care she needs.
Moved her up from Level 1 ...to Level 4....of a 7 level gradient.
I don't know the details of that. But I'm guessing it is good for us all. Good that we will qualify for more public care and finances, and good that DS will really see his mum has changed this year and needs greater protection and care.
She has been Level 1 since living with us and being under the social services system. But the events of this summer - God it all seems so long ago now - the fall in May and the broken back bone, hospitalisation, dementia explosion and subsequent medication and physical decline - ALL of that has changed her.
I know it.
DA knows it, if he is honest with himself.
Now social services have given the official recognition of it.
We went to see Okaasan yesterday.
Had a slight panic when we couldn't find her in the hospital for 5 minutes - a mix up about her being in physical therapy, or not - and actually she was happily sitting in the day room with the TV..
But there she was. All smiley and content. We wheeled her to the 5th floor of the hospital and sat with her and some canned drinks - pointing out the deeply boring parts of the south Sapporo suburban landscape, the pictures on the walls, the packaging on the rice crackers...just making a little light, friendly feeling for a lady who doesn't know a whole lot.
She knows us. She knows Hokkaido. Doesn't react much to chat about old familiar things - Dear Son's blind customer who is in town from this weekend again...autumn flowers...
It's ok. Just an hour of chat and smiles...
We replaced her dirty clothes with clean and secreted into the drawers a new, long-sleeved pink blouse that I'd bought - I think I know her taste will enough now and I don't think she will be so aware of what clothing is her's or not...anymore.
Then we had a toilet trip. The 3 of us squeezed into a smaller than usual toilet - with the wheelchair and our bags....he was holding Okaasan and I was reaching around her for her pajamas and diapers.
And finally we delivered her back to the day room where patients were being wheeled in and arranged at tables for their lunch. Ten or so elderly people, in various states of awareness around tables. They don't interact with eachother so much, they watch eachother and us...we smile...Okaasan looks at the TV, and us...and around the room - she isn't too bothered.
And then food arrives and her focus shifts...and we wave bye bye and slip away.
Dear Son says he understands and will start talking to social services about a care home for Okaasan. He KNOWS she can't come like this....he says he understands.
So.
Onwards.
Showing posts with label physical activity.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label physical activity.. Show all posts
Sunday, 8 October 2017
Wednesday, 31 May 2017
Too difficult for hospital...
The hospital is complaining.
They've asked us to take Okaasan home for a night. In the hope that it will ease her aggression/stress/anger.
Dear Son got the phone call yesterday and went in to talk to the doctor and nurses.
They said that the physical therapy is progressing. But she still can't stand or walk alone. So they have taken her to the toilet by wheelchair and lifted her on and off the toilet twice. And she is diapers, of course.
But. She is noisy and difficult. Banging her hand on the wall by the bed. Aggressive with the nurses. Shouting.
Of course.
They suggested she comes home tomorrow for one night. To give her (and them) a break.
We are in a whirl of wondering. And heavy feeling.
Will one night at home make any difference?
Would Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon be better? 2 nights?
Will we be able to get her back to the hospital?
Is it actually NECESSARY that she goes back to the hospital?
Special taxi and driver with a wheelchair.
How to get a wheelchair into the house.
Toileting......
Should she sleep on the floor (as usual), or the sofa? Or we should get in a bed?
Toileting......protecting the flooring/carpet/sofa.....
Could she transfer to another, more dementia-experienced facility?
Could she be at home, here - with a physical therapist coming every day?
Dear Son will be calling the day service manager today for advice....
His difficult bike taxi customer leaves today. Finally. He was looking forward to a few days of normality and rest. No chance.
Aghhhhhh...
This is a smallish hospital. Orthopedics. Mainly neck and back. Many elderly patients, of course. But they don't have special staff for dementia and psychological support. The nurses are busy.
As Okaasan's pain subsides and she begins to feel better - she is getting more questioning about her situation.... questioning which is frustration and aggression. She can't remember the calm reasoning anyone gives her and she doesn't do much to ease her own stress.
Anyone in hospital usually arranges their time to while away the hours. A bit of TV, a book, a letter, a visit, sleep, some food, physical therapy, checks...but someone with dementia doesn't. She frets and stews and stares at walls, listens to conversations....turns away magazines and the tricky TV earphones.....doesn't chat to other patients.....living only in the moment of self-unhappiness.
And it's coming our way...tomorrow or Friday.....
Stay tuned.
They've asked us to take Okaasan home for a night. In the hope that it will ease her aggression/stress/anger.
Dear Son got the phone call yesterday and went in to talk to the doctor and nurses.
They said that the physical therapy is progressing. But she still can't stand or walk alone. So they have taken her to the toilet by wheelchair and lifted her on and off the toilet twice. And she is diapers, of course.
But. She is noisy and difficult. Banging her hand on the wall by the bed. Aggressive with the nurses. Shouting.
Of course.
They suggested she comes home tomorrow for one night. To give her (and them) a break.
We are in a whirl of wondering. And heavy feeling.
Will one night at home make any difference?
Would Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon be better? 2 nights?
Will we be able to get her back to the hospital?
Is it actually NECESSARY that she goes back to the hospital?
Special taxi and driver with a wheelchair.
How to get a wheelchair into the house.
Toileting......
Should she sleep on the floor (as usual), or the sofa? Or we should get in a bed?
Toileting......protecting the flooring/carpet/sofa.....
Could she transfer to another, more dementia-experienced facility?
Could she be at home, here - with a physical therapist coming every day?
Dear Son will be calling the day service manager today for advice....
His difficult bike taxi customer leaves today. Finally. He was looking forward to a few days of normality and rest. No chance.
Aghhhhhh...
This is a smallish hospital. Orthopedics. Mainly neck and back. Many elderly patients, of course. But they don't have special staff for dementia and psychological support. The nurses are busy.
As Okaasan's pain subsides and she begins to feel better - she is getting more questioning about her situation.... questioning which is frustration and aggression. She can't remember the calm reasoning anyone gives her and she doesn't do much to ease her own stress.
Anyone in hospital usually arranges their time to while away the hours. A bit of TV, a book, a letter, a visit, sleep, some food, physical therapy, checks...but someone with dementia doesn't. She frets and stews and stares at walls, listens to conversations....turns away magazines and the tricky TV earphones.....doesn't chat to other patients.....living only in the moment of self-unhappiness.
And it's coming our way...tomorrow or Friday.....
Stay tuned.
Saturday, 21 May 2016
Broken routines
Okaasan lives a daily routine.
Wake, doze, open curtains, toilet, doze, TV, doze....Tv....doze.....lunch.....doze, sleep...TV....late afternoon walk....shops.....home....TV...dinner.....TV.....doze...sleep.
Not this past week.
The old apartment building across the road is being knocked down. 8 am to 5 pm the whole street is shuddering with the digger, the breaker, the truck etc And even in the one hour lunch break, when quiet might come - the truck driver keeps the engine running for his essential air con.
So, it's noisy.
Gives us all stress.
Okaasan complains about it, in her usual strange round-about-way. It isn't that: "I don't like that noise" - but "Dear Son doesn't like that noise and he went to work early!", "the woman next door said "We shouldn't put our laundry outside because of the dust!" (this is actually Okaasan's opinion about ME and MY laundry...which I have reassured her about countless times this week).
So she goes out earlier in the afternoon. To escape the crash and bash of deconstruction.
And yesterday: left the house at 9.30 am!!! I went downstairs to check the money in her wallet before I left for work. And she'd gone.
Caused us a few troubles because it was a lunch box delivery day, so I contacted Dear Son, he contacted the delivery guy...and the box was left in the fairly cool hallway. Okaasan still out.
I came home at 6 pm to find Okaasan surrounded by empty and full food boxes. The ones she had bought outside, the delivered one. All scattered around on the carpet and table around her. She was eating a rice ball. The shopping receipts (ALWAYS my main source of info about her day!!!) showed that she was round our local shops buying stuff at 11 am...and THEN went downtown by subway and around 3 pm DS met her while he was bike taxi working.
So she was out for hours - 6 hours or more! All to escape the noise.
Not surprisingly, at dinner she didn't want to eat much. Didn't decide that until the food started to be served (why why is that?) - and then sat at the table watching us eat. But she was lively. Chatty. Unusual. Usually, recently, she sits silent at dinner and I'm afraid he and I chat to eachother about our working days...in English...which isn't inclusive. But she just sits and eats, eyes down. Unconnected....
Yesterday - all the activity in Okaasan's day - forced out by the noise - was actually good for her. Made her go out and walk more. Instead of hours of sleep and TV. It activated her brain much more and in the evening - instead of being exhausted after 6 hours out of the house - she was connected and chatty
Activity is so important. I wish we could get her into day service or a club for the elderly. But she won't. She would need to be organised into it every week, and picked up from home and delivered - she isn't able to follow an appointment. And she and Dear Son aren't doing that. Only the winter care.
When I am old I will make sure to live in a situation where I am almost forced to have daily activity, physical and mental. Sitting by the Tv for hours is so bad. Sleeping in front of the TV in a lit room also bad.
There was a report recently that scientists believe lack of deep sleep over a long time is bad for the brain and allows the buildup of the substances which start blocking the brain connections and end up in dementia. Deep sleep - sooooo important. I think Okaasan has spent years falling asleep in front of the TV, and then waking throughout the night in a fully lit room with the flickering screen.
Too late for Okaasan now. Not too late for me.
Activity
Sleep.
We need them!
Wake, doze, open curtains, toilet, doze, TV, doze....Tv....doze.....lunch.....doze, sleep...TV....late afternoon walk....shops.....home....TV...dinner.....TV.....doze...sleep.
Not this past week.
The old apartment building across the road is being knocked down. 8 am to 5 pm the whole street is shuddering with the digger, the breaker, the truck etc And even in the one hour lunch break, when quiet might come - the truck driver keeps the engine running for his essential air con.
So, it's noisy.
Gives us all stress.
Okaasan complains about it, in her usual strange round-about-way. It isn't that: "I don't like that noise" - but "Dear Son doesn't like that noise and he went to work early!", "the woman next door said "We shouldn't put our laundry outside because of the dust!" (this is actually Okaasan's opinion about ME and MY laundry...which I have reassured her about countless times this week).
So she goes out earlier in the afternoon. To escape the crash and bash of deconstruction.
And yesterday: left the house at 9.30 am!!! I went downstairs to check the money in her wallet before I left for work. And she'd gone.
Caused us a few troubles because it was a lunch box delivery day, so I contacted Dear Son, he contacted the delivery guy...and the box was left in the fairly cool hallway. Okaasan still out.
I came home at 6 pm to find Okaasan surrounded by empty and full food boxes. The ones she had bought outside, the delivered one. All scattered around on the carpet and table around her. She was eating a rice ball. The shopping receipts (ALWAYS my main source of info about her day!!!) showed that she was round our local shops buying stuff at 11 am...and THEN went downtown by subway and around 3 pm DS met her while he was bike taxi working.
So she was out for hours - 6 hours or more! All to escape the noise.
Not surprisingly, at dinner she didn't want to eat much. Didn't decide that until the food started to be served (why why is that?) - and then sat at the table watching us eat. But she was lively. Chatty. Unusual. Usually, recently, she sits silent at dinner and I'm afraid he and I chat to eachother about our working days...in English...which isn't inclusive. But she just sits and eats, eyes down. Unconnected....
Yesterday - all the activity in Okaasan's day - forced out by the noise - was actually good for her. Made her go out and walk more. Instead of hours of sleep and TV. It activated her brain much more and in the evening - instead of being exhausted after 6 hours out of the house - she was connected and chatty
Activity is so important. I wish we could get her into day service or a club for the elderly. But she won't. She would need to be organised into it every week, and picked up from home and delivered - she isn't able to follow an appointment. And she and Dear Son aren't doing that. Only the winter care.
When I am old I will make sure to live in a situation where I am almost forced to have daily activity, physical and mental. Sitting by the Tv for hours is so bad. Sleeping in front of the TV in a lit room also bad.
There was a report recently that scientists believe lack of deep sleep over a long time is bad for the brain and allows the buildup of the substances which start blocking the brain connections and end up in dementia. Deep sleep - sooooo important. I think Okaasan has spent years falling asleep in front of the TV, and then waking throughout the night in a fully lit room with the flickering screen.
Too late for Okaasan now. Not too late for me.
Activity
Sleep.
We need them!
Friday, 18 September 2015
How's your life? Interview....
A tale of two lives at the kitchen table this morning: Okaasan's view of her life...and then our view of her life.
And the city office interviewer trying to make sense of it frantically on her clip board.
After the recent mental health interview, this was the final Public Care Status interview, which determines what public assistance we can get in the next 2 years.
Okaasan's Daily Life...by Okaasan:
I go walking almost every day. I go to Odori (downtown) by subway almost every day. I meet my friend. Go shopping.
Yes - I have a bath, brush my teeth, brush my hair. Of COURSE!
Food? Um - what time? Um. Cooking? Um. Microwave? Um.
How many people live here? Um?
What season is it now? Um...is there a calendar? Um...autumn? The day? Um.
How old am I? Um...around 80?
What time do I go to bed? Wake up? Um....
Do I sleep on a futon or a bed? Um.....
Yes - I cut my nails! Of COURSE!
Doctors? Hospitals? Health supplements? NO!!!
Can I stand on one leg? Can I get up and down from the carpet? YES!
Okaasan's Daily Life...by Dear Son and Moi:
Walking every day, if the weather is good.
Downtown...once a month in the past year or so.
Sometimes confusions about money/tickets/possessions.
Doesn't get lost.
Doesn't bring back other people's possessions.
Has a bath/cuts nails if we direct her to do it. Can do them herself.
Food - can feed herself (messily). We do all the shopping and cooking. Lunch box deliveries and food left out for her to eat.
Microwave ok. Cooker - rarely uses and burns pans when she does.
Money control - we do it for her.
Goes to sleep and gets up herself. Sometimes we get her up in the morning. Lots of daytime sleeping.
Endless repeat conversations. Random - unconnected topics common.
Mixing up of childhood and adult stories and places.
Thinking long ago life and people is happening now? No...not really.
Can't follow complex explanations - we leave written messages about plans.
Awareness of seasons/weather - patchy. Clothes choices sometimes not suitable.
Night time wandering? Eating? No - not that we know!
There was the Remember 3 Things test: Apple/Car/Train.
I scored 2 and a half. WAS the third one train? Okaasan was a complete blank. She couldn't name any of the things. Even with a hint.
The city office staff was obviously impressed by Okaasan's physical ability: balancing on one leg, getting up and down from chairs and the carpet, turning over, stretching out her arms etc. All very good for 85 years old.
She IS good.
Many of the questions made me realize that so many elderly people have a whole range of physical limitations/weaknesses. Okaasan really doesn't.
But: the mental ability is also clearly not so great. The silences, or hesitant answers to questions about self and routine showed that.
I think it is sad: Okaasan is/was a physically healthy person. She used to walk and do hula dance. Socialize with people. Look after herself. Eat sparingly and well. Travel. Study. Learn. In her late 60s and 70s she was doing all the things you are supposed to do.
But still. In her late 70s this thing called dementia crept up. By 77 she wasn't cooking for herself, she wasn't managing money very well, she wasn't cleaning. And then her son took the decision to look after her.
Physical activity is Dementia 101. But doing it doesn't protect you. By the age of 77 and 78 Okaasan was on the slippery slope.
The interviewer's question about believing past events are in the present was interesting. She went on and on explaining what she meant by this: and Dear Son and I couldn't think of anything that demonstrates that with Okaasan.
She doesn't mistake delivery men for her father, or think the Sapporo supermarket is a Kawagoe shop. Nothing like that.Yet....
Although....the recent "there are four people living here" answer to the Census taker maybe shows confusion about her current living and the past as a wife and mother in Saitama.
All in all a good interview. It was an honest laying out of Okaasan's mental/physical status at the end of 2015.
The interviewer was a totally nice, middle aged woman. Professional and friendly. But - I DO wonder why they do the interview with the family members right in front of the client. We sat there dissing what Okaasan had just said. No - she can't do that. Nor that. Not that. No - she is wrong. It's hardly a warm, positive feeling to hear your family disagree with you in front of a stranger. There was NO suggestion that we should talk privately in our part of the interview.
Bad I think. But then if we did - would Okaasan be suspicious about us talking to someone without her hearing?
After the woman left and the three of us were in the kitchen I chatted brightly about: what a nice woman! Yes, she was surprised at how flexible your legs are!
Okaasan for her part tried to explain away the not going downtown: I don't go recently? Really? I don't have any money? I don't have a card? The weather is bad?
And then I came to work. Dear Son started cooking curry.
And Okaasan retreated with a cup of tea back to the TV and safety.
We wait now for the Day Care manager to arrange this winter's care. Once a week trip by taxi to the supermarket would be good.
.........
Now: Tell me - what were those 3 things I asked you to remember earlier?
Yes?
Can you tell me?
And the city office interviewer trying to make sense of it frantically on her clip board.
After the recent mental health interview, this was the final Public Care Status interview, which determines what public assistance we can get in the next 2 years.
Okaasan's Daily Life...by Okaasan:
I go walking almost every day. I go to Odori (downtown) by subway almost every day. I meet my friend. Go shopping.
Yes - I have a bath, brush my teeth, brush my hair. Of COURSE!
Food? Um - what time? Um. Cooking? Um. Microwave? Um.
How many people live here? Um?
What season is it now? Um...is there a calendar? Um...autumn? The day? Um.
How old am I? Um...around 80?
What time do I go to bed? Wake up? Um....
Do I sleep on a futon or a bed? Um.....
Yes - I cut my nails! Of COURSE!
Doctors? Hospitals? Health supplements? NO!!!
Can I stand on one leg? Can I get up and down from the carpet? YES!
Okaasan's Daily Life...by Dear Son and Moi:
Walking every day, if the weather is good.
Downtown...once a month in the past year or so.
Sometimes confusions about money/tickets/possessions.
Doesn't get lost.
Doesn't bring back other people's possessions.
Has a bath/cuts nails if we direct her to do it. Can do them herself.
Food - can feed herself (messily). We do all the shopping and cooking. Lunch box deliveries and food left out for her to eat.
Microwave ok. Cooker - rarely uses and burns pans when she does.
Money control - we do it for her.
Goes to sleep and gets up herself. Sometimes we get her up in the morning. Lots of daytime sleeping.
Endless repeat conversations. Random - unconnected topics common.
Mixing up of childhood and adult stories and places.
Thinking long ago life and people is happening now? No...not really.
Can't follow complex explanations - we leave written messages about plans.
Awareness of seasons/weather - patchy. Clothes choices sometimes not suitable.
Night time wandering? Eating? No - not that we know!
There was the Remember 3 Things test: Apple/Car/Train.
I scored 2 and a half. WAS the third one train? Okaasan was a complete blank. She couldn't name any of the things. Even with a hint.
The city office staff was obviously impressed by Okaasan's physical ability: balancing on one leg, getting up and down from chairs and the carpet, turning over, stretching out her arms etc. All very good for 85 years old.
She IS good.
Many of the questions made me realize that so many elderly people have a whole range of physical limitations/weaknesses. Okaasan really doesn't.
But: the mental ability is also clearly not so great. The silences, or hesitant answers to questions about self and routine showed that.
I think it is sad: Okaasan is/was a physically healthy person. She used to walk and do hula dance. Socialize with people. Look after herself. Eat sparingly and well. Travel. Study. Learn. In her late 60s and 70s she was doing all the things you are supposed to do.
But still. In her late 70s this thing called dementia crept up. By 77 she wasn't cooking for herself, she wasn't managing money very well, she wasn't cleaning. And then her son took the decision to look after her.
Physical activity is Dementia 101. But doing it doesn't protect you. By the age of 77 and 78 Okaasan was on the slippery slope.
The interviewer's question about believing past events are in the present was interesting. She went on and on explaining what she meant by this: and Dear Son and I couldn't think of anything that demonstrates that with Okaasan.
She doesn't mistake delivery men for her father, or think the Sapporo supermarket is a Kawagoe shop. Nothing like that.Yet....
Although....the recent "there are four people living here" answer to the Census taker maybe shows confusion about her current living and the past as a wife and mother in Saitama.
All in all a good interview. It was an honest laying out of Okaasan's mental/physical status at the end of 2015.
The interviewer was a totally nice, middle aged woman. Professional and friendly. But - I DO wonder why they do the interview with the family members right in front of the client. We sat there dissing what Okaasan had just said. No - she can't do that. Nor that. Not that. No - she is wrong. It's hardly a warm, positive feeling to hear your family disagree with you in front of a stranger. There was NO suggestion that we should talk privately in our part of the interview.
Bad I think. But then if we did - would Okaasan be suspicious about us talking to someone without her hearing?
After the woman left and the three of us were in the kitchen I chatted brightly about: what a nice woman! Yes, she was surprised at how flexible your legs are!
Okaasan for her part tried to explain away the not going downtown: I don't go recently? Really? I don't have any money? I don't have a card? The weather is bad?
And then I came to work. Dear Son started cooking curry.
And Okaasan retreated with a cup of tea back to the TV and safety.
We wait now for the Day Care manager to arrange this winter's care. Once a week trip by taxi to the supermarket would be good.
.........
Now: Tell me - what were those 3 things I asked you to remember earlier?
Yes?
Can you tell me?
Thursday, 31 May 2012
Sock it to me (x 30 plus)
or.....
...like this?
If you have a nice, kind Oyomesan you will have below: the artfully arranged basket of neatly-paired socks, all pegged to their partner and in color piles.
If you are Okaasan: you'll have the above. Three spreading clusters of socks at different points around your room on the carpet. When you go out you have to play Hunt the Missing Sock...endlessly...scurrying from cluster to cluster with more than 60 odd socks in varying shades of pink, beige and brown.
So. I tried. Washed them all, bought the pegs and the basket. Sat down and had my own Match the Sock game, which was hard even with my short-term memory skills.
This morning I took the basket into Okaasan and said: wouldn't it be nice to keep yours socks like this, so you can see them easily etc etc.
HOPING she will keep them like this. At least for a while.
She seemed appreciative. Maybe just being polite at the outlandish suggestion that she should keep socks in this style. We haven't had much luck with other "helpful" clothes/room setting ideas. We tried to label the chest drawers, so she could find clothes among 10 drawers. She left the labels for 10 hours -and then peeled them off and stuck them inside the drawers.
What IS it with clothes scattered all over the place? Why does she do this? Wanting to see everything? Always thinking "I'm in the middle of laundry day"?
I'm sure that she never used to keep clothes like this, all over the floor and the furniture. All thrown together, creased and mixed.
And in other news: the house painting finished! We have a wonderful, cream colored house now. Looks great. But sadly, there are flecks of old paint all over the garden too - the cats are rolling and walking in them, and the flowers and vegetables will grow this year thru the carcinogenous stuff.
And: Okaasan is interested in joining another dance class.
She's taken out her hula dance skirts. And she has a flyer for a Folk Dance class at the culture school she went to before.
She thinks June 22 is a class visit date. She thinks the people in the photo look friendly - and not like the "bullies" in the two hula dance classes she has already quit.
It would be GREAT if she joined another class. Get her out and active physically and socially. Yujiro never took her along to the Tuesday hula class at the culture school where I am working, but Okaasan has found a class she likes herself.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
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