Another cosy twosome - to the dentist last week.
We left Okaasan large notes at home to meet me at the subway station at 2.30 pm, so I could come and get her between classes - and after a few minutes of nervous waiting...she trotted into sight at the station by 2.40 pm and we just made the dentist's clinic by 3 pm.
It's clear she doesn't really know where the dentist is. On the way I kept repeating the phrase: "almost there now, it's opposite Grand Hotel, isn't it!"...she maybe she got it fixed in her memory.
Delivered her safely for treatment, and then I managed to pay up front and make the next appointment - before I headed back to work. Reassured the clinic staff that Okaasan would be ok this time leaving alone - once she gets outside the building I was certain she would soon walk into a familiar area of downtown.
Later in the evening we all met up again back home for dinner and I apologised to Okaasan for not waiting for her.
"Oh, THAT'S ok! Don't worry at all! I'm not a child!!! It's no problem!" she said happily.
Maybe next week I will give her the cash to pay for the treatment herself. Will still probably have to take her there, and make the appointment myself - but the leftover cash won't be such a large amount. We usually only give her Y1-2,000 a day...any more and she gets shopping crazy in department stores and comes home with expensive, old fashioned vegetables or dried fish...which we then have to work out how to cook.
It's hard - how to balance managing Okaasan's life and how to balance letting her do stuff herself. I'm always surprised that she generally lets us direct things - timetables/money/plans and only occasionally gets tetchy with us about being over managed. I guess at some level she isn't certain and welcomes the reassuring help.
Saturday, 15 June 2013
Tuesday, 11 June 2013
Family trip out
Took Okaasan to the local dance festival at the weekend - the three of us, with camping chairs to sit on by the roadside.
Okaasan fussed a bit about too hot/too cold, too windy, can't see - but finally we got her settled just right in a good spot to enjoy it all. She leaned forward in her seat and clapped to the music.
Okaasan fussed a bit about too hot/too cold, too windy, can't see - but finally we got her settled just right in a good spot to enjoy it all. She leaned forward in her seat and clapped to the music.
Yosakoi Dance Festival is a big thing in Sapporo - mainly downtown on stages and in parades inthe city center streets. But our local team is one of the best, so there is always a big turn out for their local performance.
After an hour at the festival we had early lunch at the Indian restaurant and Okaasan was animated and ate loads. Then home to snooze away the afternoon...and luckily so full she didn't need dinner either :-)
Got another dentist trip tomorrow....
Saturday, 8 June 2013
I'm losing my memory, aren't I?
After the Dentist Double Date (me and Okaasan, not me and the dentist...nice married man...and not my type...)....anyway...
After the dentist Dear Son came to the dental office and took Okaasan to the subway station in his bike taxi.
Two hours later at home she couldn't remember that at all.
"I met him? He took me in the taxi?"
"I'm really losing my memory aren't I? What should I do? Should I take medicine or something?"
We made all the reassuring, but honest comments: yes, you are - but it's ok because we know and we check things for you. You remember long ago things ok, but just now things are gone, it's a normal aging thing, you'll be ok, it's not so bad....etc etc
And really that is all we CAN do in this situation.
Okaasan and her anti-hospital feelings would never get into testing and treatments for dementia, never. 4 trips to the dentist in the coming weeks is her limit.
But those moments when the dementia sufferer is aware and needs reassurance.....sad really.
After the dentist Dear Son came to the dental office and took Okaasan to the subway station in his bike taxi.
Two hours later at home she couldn't remember that at all.
"I met him? He took me in the taxi?"
"I'm really losing my memory aren't I? What should I do? Should I take medicine or something?"
We made all the reassuring, but honest comments: yes, you are - but it's ok because we know and we check things for you. You remember long ago things ok, but just now things are gone, it's a normal aging thing, you'll be ok, it's not so bad....etc etc
And really that is all we CAN do in this situation.
Okaasan and her anti-hospital feelings would never get into testing and treatments for dementia, never. 4 trips to the dentist in the coming weeks is her limit.
But those moments when the dementia sufferer is aware and needs reassurance.....sad really.
Thursday, 6 June 2013
Dentist Double Date
Open - wiiiiiide!
Doesn't get much more personal than this...sitting with a ringside seat at the dentist while someone is prone with their mouth open and bits being picked out of their teeth :-(
Okaasan and Me - we went to the dentist together, she at 3 pm and me following on at 4 pm.
I was there for a brief checkup (recent night guard and cleaning) and she was there because of all the recent complaints of tooth pain and strange comments about going to the Ear, Nose and Throat doc. Except she didn't know why she was there. The tooth wasn't painful today. We had to keep telling her.
I drove her downtown and to my surprise the dentist actually invited me into the treatment room, instead of leaving me with the magazines and staff pet photo display. This meant I was doing the chatty small talk to ease Okaasan's mind. I chatted about the realistic imitation flower display, the hotel across the street, the picture, the festival in the park, the dentist's daughter (a student many years ago)...and on and on.
An XRay showed a large cavity top left - no wonder she felt pain recently. Okaasan was trying to wriggle out of it though - "Oh it's ok, the dentist is so busy, I don't want to bother him!", "it's not so bad, is it?" etc
But she caught in the web of decisionmakers - I called Dear Son on my cell phone, Dear Son and dentist chatted, Dear Son gave the go ahead for treatment, then dentist explained it as a done deal to Okaasan and before she knew it the chair was back down and she was being prepped for root extraction.....
Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I felt lots of sympathy actually, after all the treatments I had last year. But, not enough to let her wriggle out. She is 83 years old, but she needs to eat and stay healthy. And increasing tooth pain isn't good.
Kind of interesting to see how they did an old patient: they had a special cushion for under her back, they fitted a heart rate monitor to her finger and kept checking it as it beeped up and down, they questioned her about taking medicines and general health (Okaasan got stroppy with me when I mentioned that she was energetic enough to do dancing at day service, she doesn't like outsiders to know she goes to that...)
And then they started...carefully injecting and treatment. I sat there - on a stool at Okaasan's feet for 45 mins...as close as any non-medical person wants to ever get to a treatment without it being your own out of necessity!
My dentist and his nurse were soooooooooooooooo goood......so good......
Poor thing. Okaasan. When she finally sat back up again she looked whacked. I felt a rush of human-to-human sympathy for her and almost hugged her.
Then there was the whole process of deciding whether she would wait for me and my treatment, or go off shopping alone. And who would pay (me) and who would decide next appointment (me)....which was another 15 minutes of toing and froing.
I called Dear Son and his bike taxi to come and pick her up and take her to the subway station and waved her off in the elevator hall - me actually wearing the dental paper bib as I was being prepped for MY check-up...
and so.....Dentist Double Date.
Exhausting.
For both of us.
Doesn't get much more personal than this...sitting with a ringside seat at the dentist while someone is prone with their mouth open and bits being picked out of their teeth :-(
Okaasan and Me - we went to the dentist together, she at 3 pm and me following on at 4 pm.
I was there for a brief checkup (recent night guard and cleaning) and she was there because of all the recent complaints of tooth pain and strange comments about going to the Ear, Nose and Throat doc. Except she didn't know why she was there. The tooth wasn't painful today. We had to keep telling her.
I drove her downtown and to my surprise the dentist actually invited me into the treatment room, instead of leaving me with the magazines and staff pet photo display. This meant I was doing the chatty small talk to ease Okaasan's mind. I chatted about the realistic imitation flower display, the hotel across the street, the picture, the festival in the park, the dentist's daughter (a student many years ago)...and on and on.
An XRay showed a large cavity top left - no wonder she felt pain recently. Okaasan was trying to wriggle out of it though - "Oh it's ok, the dentist is so busy, I don't want to bother him!", "it's not so bad, is it?" etc
But she caught in the web of decisionmakers - I called Dear Son on my cell phone, Dear Son and dentist chatted, Dear Son gave the go ahead for treatment, then dentist explained it as a done deal to Okaasan and before she knew it the chair was back down and she was being prepped for root extraction.....
Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I felt lots of sympathy actually, after all the treatments I had last year. But, not enough to let her wriggle out. She is 83 years old, but she needs to eat and stay healthy. And increasing tooth pain isn't good.
Kind of interesting to see how they did an old patient: they had a special cushion for under her back, they fitted a heart rate monitor to her finger and kept checking it as it beeped up and down, they questioned her about taking medicines and general health (Okaasan got stroppy with me when I mentioned that she was energetic enough to do dancing at day service, she doesn't like outsiders to know she goes to that...)
And then they started...carefully injecting and treatment. I sat there - on a stool at Okaasan's feet for 45 mins...as close as any non-medical person wants to ever get to a treatment without it being your own out of necessity!
My dentist and his nurse were soooooooooooooooo goood......so good......
Poor thing. Okaasan. When she finally sat back up again she looked whacked. I felt a rush of human-to-human sympathy for her and almost hugged her.
Then there was the whole process of deciding whether she would wait for me and my treatment, or go off shopping alone. And who would pay (me) and who would decide next appointment (me)....which was another 15 minutes of toing and froing.
I called Dear Son and his bike taxi to come and pick her up and take her to the subway station and waved her off in the elevator hall - me actually wearing the dental paper bib as I was being prepped for MY check-up...
and so.....Dentist Double Date.
Exhausting.
For both of us.
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