Turning pro...

Carer's daydream.

When this is all over...yes, when Okaasan dies....I imagine what we'll do.

What I ACTUALLY imagine for the day she dies is a lot of confusion...specially if I am alone here and find her under the kotatsu, with the TV blaring and gone. If Dear Son is away in the mountains I guess I'll just have to leave Okaasan in situ and call him to come start the whole process of police? funeral company? whatever whatever (he is having a practice run with that now after his brother's death).

And cheese fondue.
I actually imagine that our first dinner without Okaasan will be cheese fondue.
Yes. I'm that bad.
In my mind cheese fondue represents our lives Before Okaasan. What we could eat when she wasn't living with us. Of course, we could eat it now and across the table give her something healthy - but my fondue daydreams represent so much more than cheese, flour and wine. It represents our old days. Freedom from responsibility. What we could enjoy at home before we had to consider an elderly Japanese lady and her needs.

Anyway.

After that...I imagine we'll have to decide what to do with the next stage of our lives. Stay here in this house? Move? Move to a ski resort? Open a guest house?

Or.

Become a professional carer?

This is actually the point of this blog. Not cheese fondue on the night an old lady dies.

Caring skills. I'm getting pretty good at this - I DO say so myself. I could do this and get paid for it. :-)

I'm basking in Carer Confidence after this weekend's Bath time.
It really all went well, with a few minus points, but I'm really getting the hang of this. And Okaasan followed directions and was happy and didn't slap me. Progress.

Start the bath running. Heat up the changing area. Set out a chair, pink towels (not the frayed at the seams one, otherwise she'll fuss about sewing it).
Tell Okaasan it's bathtime.
Encourage her to switch off the TV and go to the bathroom.
She undresses herself.
Check water temperature.
Leave her for a bit.
Check the water temperature.
Go in about 4 more times under different pretexts - now I am SO much better at just walking into her bathroom. Bright smile, chat. Most normal thing in the world to be standing with you next to the bathtub.
While she is bathing - do a quick clean of her room. Grab laundry.
After 45 mins start encouraging her to get out.
Keep at it.
And again.
Finally start talking about "lunch is ready" and gently tapping her hands and then the bath rail to show her HOW to pull herself up out of the bath.
Direct her with gentle finger taps to move her bum around so she is in the correct position to stand.
Repeat.
Start draining water from the bath.
Finally, put my hand under her armpits and lift her up to start her standing.
Let her get out of the bath.
Sit her on the bath-stool. Wash her hair. Chat.
Help with towels etc, back to her room.
Toe nail clipping.....and under toe nail scraping (wow! 86 year old body still growing!)
Hair drying....encourage her to use the dryer.
Give her water to drink. Time to cool down.

Start cooking lunch.
All of that between 9.30 and 11.30 am.
She was mainly happy and smiley. Didn't get stressed or angry. Didn't slap my hands or shout. Only screamed once - I give myself minus points for forgetting to warm my hands before touching her body in the bath.

Pretty successful.
A year ago I still wasn't confident about even going into the bathroom with her.
Now? Old pro!

So. Should I forget the daydreams of owning a guest house in a ski resort and welcoming guests from around the world? Should I think about opening a care home for seniors?!!

Probably not.
It's one thing to do it for someone out of love for their son. Family duty. Easing the guilt I feel because I didn't do much caring for my own parents in the UK. It would be a whole other level to do this day in and day out for strangers....I admire people who do that SO MUCH.

Pat on the back - with warm hands - for carers everywhere. We are doing a great job. :-)

Could she? Breaking it down.

Okaasan whinged at Dear Son the other day: "I don't need  that woman, I can go out on my own in a taxi shopping.

"That woman" would be the wonderful, patient care helper from the local authority. Who comes for two hours every week to get Okaasan dressed and out to a local supermarket by taxi.

Dear Son told his mother bluntly - NO, your mental condition is far worse than you know. You need help in going out and in winter is safer with a helper.

I thought about it afterwards.
Could she do it alone?
What could she do? Couldn't she do?

Task:
Order a taxi, get dressed, get handbag/phone/gloves/key/money - go shopping. 
After shopping get another taxi and come home. Pay the taxi.

Well, to be honest it isn't that hard. 
What areas would be difficult for her? End in confusion.

Ordering a taxi.

Would she just sleep the afternoon away? After lunch fall asleep and only when we come home at 5 or 6 pm, wake up? So, too late to go out? Probably. Usually her days are spent dozing with the TV, hour after hour blending into the same time. The actual decision "Now I will order a taxi and go out in 30/45 mins" - the ability to make that decision and act on it. Gone.

Even with a taxi company number and her telephone - I don't think she could do it. Have the conversation to tell the taxi company where and what time. And then be ready for the taxi when it arrives.

Get ready for going out - don't think she could do it alone. I think the taxi driver would be hovering in the hallway, with the car parked in a narrow snowy street while Okaasan fussed about gloves, or heater, or key, or phone...impossible for a middle-aged Japanese male taxi driver to come into the house and assist Okaasan.

After shopping - coming home by taxi. Maybe she could get a taxi, give them the address to come home. Would she have enough money to pay each time, or would she have used it all for shopping?
And then if there was no taxi outside the supermarket at the moment when she emerged, would she try and walk home in the snowy, icy streets...

Yes - we could arrange it ourselves. Pre-book a taxi to come every Wednesday at 3 pm.
But we'd have to telephone her at 2.30 pm ...and 2.45 pm to make sure she was getting ready.
And still I worry about the poor driver having to hover while she fussed.

Mainly the problem is Okaasan WANTING to go out or not.
I can easily imagine a pre-booked driver arriving at the front door - and Okaasan peering out at the snow and saying: "Oh, a bit cold today, I don't feel like it, thankyou....I don't want to spend that money".

Part of the day helper reason is the cheerful conversation and interaction she gives Okaasan. Monday to Friday in front of the TV alone isn't good. If I am working nights, the amount of conversation with me is limited to a few sentences about the weather or the heater as I rush in and out.

So. We use a day helper.

That is the breakdown of why we don't think Okaasan could order a taxi and go shopping herself. Impossible to explain that all to her, of course. 
And in fact, we are VERY lucky that - until now - she hasn't tried to do any of this. She has a phone, she usually has some money, there is probably a taxi company number on a city public service newsletter - she could decide to head out independently. But she doesn't. Usually sleeping with the TV.

* And in happier news today.
I managed to get her into a bath, then she climbed out of the bath alone and I got the timing precisely right for me to go into the bathroom and start washing her hair. While she was sitting on the edge of the bath.
Just marched in, took the shampoo and set about it with what I hoped was a day service helper kind of brisk, friendly efficiency.
Success.

Now I've given her lunch.

And I am going out to a local cheapo steak place to gorge on steak. I have a cold coming on and my European body-in-the-land-of-tofu is craving MEAT. That will make a difference.

Head cold. Injured cat. Old lady and her bath.
Happy Saturday.

Will just have to open up yet another Adam Lambert video on YouTube and make myself happy.

Happy....gurgle gurgle...

Happy Mother's Day!
Hope you are being good to a mother figure in your life.
I am.
I was in the bath with mine!!!!!!

Don't think that is the usual thing to do with your beloved mother figure...usually flowers, lunch etc

Okaasan got stuck in the bath this morning and couldn't get out.
I had to jump in to the bath and haul her round carefully by holding her under the arms and pulling her....then 10 minutes later she finally managed to stand up and get out of the tub herself.
Thankfully.

Sunday morning and bathtime. I started the bath running and alerted Okaasan as usual. Set out the chair, towels, clean clothes and hair dryer. She got into the bath about 10 am.
By 11.30 I was starting to wonder....an hour is not unusual...but....

I was starting to prepare her lunch, and hoping to slip away myself for lunch out (because I am the kind of horrible daughter-in-law who tries to escape the duty lunch if I possibly can).
I called out to Okaasan thru the bathroom door: Are you ok? You've been in the bath a long time!
She answered me, but her voice sounded a bit odd.
I left it 10 minutes. Tried again. Heard a bit of water sound. A voice again: I'm ok!
5 minutes of indecision...shall I cross that privacy line by marching in on someone in the bath? Ahh....

Then I opened the bathroom door and walked in.

Okaasan was in the bath on her side. In the water. Propped up on one elbow, with her head just above the water. Very red in the face.

Oh my god.

She couldn't pull herself upright to a sitting position. Don't know HOW long she'd been on her side like that.
I jumped into the bath. Socks, leggings and all and supported her body weight. Pushing her up, pulling her round in the bath - getting both hands to hang onto the side of the bath. Let out the bath water in case she slipped and went under. Rushed to the kitchen to get a cup of cold water for her to drink.
Lots of protests of "I can do it! I can do it! Myself!!" - so I retreated. Waited upstairs nervously.

10 minutes later I went back - wondering HOW I was going to haul her upright to her feet. Found her standing naked in the kitchen. Safe. She'd got out herself. Didn't remember a thing. Wondered why I was SO relieved.

Oh my god. That was close. I could so easily have set her lunch on the table and gone out of the house for a few hours. She could have stayed in the bath like that for ages. Could have...all the variations of "worse"....
Okaasan could have died in the bath on Mother's Day. While I was sitting in the park with a sandwich.
Awful.
Certainly can't leave her alone in the bath from now on. We'd thought until now that she was ok getting in and out alone. Not now.

Happy Mother's Day.

Actually we did it yesterday, because DS was home. So the three of us went out for a soba lunch and a walk round the shopping center. Okaasan enjoyed it and all was bright in the world.

The perils of blogging....

Got a e mail via the comments section last week from a researcher on a TV program: looking for "international couples" in Japan for a variety show about the shocking truth that there are foreigners leading normal lives out there in Japanland.

Would we be interested in joining the fun?

Well, now. I and he have appeared on TV a few times. Local programs to do with the FIFA World Cup and other international events. Few interviews in local newspapers.

 But this is different. They would almost certainly want to come and film our family life here at home. While it would be a giggle for us - after a massive housecleaning stress, it really wouldn't be fair on Okaasan at all. A Tv crew here in the house. 

She gets all nervous and stressed when friends come here for dinner.

TV crew impossible. 

So we replied "No" to the TV researcher.

It's funny. I have debated with myself the ethics of writing this blog about our life with Okaasan.

Dear Son knows I write this. He found out a year or two back. Wasn't too bothered.

Okaasan doesn't know. 

I have argued to myself that it is ok: I don't write anything here that I don't say to friends or students. That a blog audience is a bigger version of that.

Peeing in trash cans and domestic violence and all that...

Nobody in Okaasan's life is ever going to read this and tell her. It's an English blog. She knows so few few people.

I write with weariness and anger, with admiration and care.

A small blog is ok. I have convinced myself.

But TV would be a step far FAR too far! :-)

Recovery mode

Okaasan seems ok after the stresses of Sunday - physically after her fall and mentally/emotionally after the angery and stress.

He was working Monday night, so I came home from work and cooked up BBQ leftovers into a semblance of a dinner and sat quietly with Okaasan chatting about this and that. She did many repeats in her chat, but seemed happy enough. More focused on the two flies in the kitchen than on the food on the plate.
She'd taken herself out for a walk downtown in the afternoon - so there isn't any physical problem.

We guess.

Mind, you....my first class on Monday monring has an 80 plus lady in it and SHE came to class this week with her arm in a sling and a bandaged wrist: she fell and cracked the wrist...but didn't realise there was a problem till 24 hours later when it swelled up!
Of course my head was full of Okaasan and the latest fall...I checked her hands etc and asked her, but she seems ok.
I think we are on borrowed time with these falls. How many times can an 80 year old fall down until it is a serious injury...so far only bruises and cuts.
i'm wondering if we can change the steps outside the front door, so it is safer for her?

Okaasan went off to day care today and I asked the staff to check her body when they are helping her at bathtime....it's SO lucky that she is going there and having a bath. Here at home she was taking a bath by herself (after we'd told her to do so and preppped everything) - so there was no chance for us to check her body for injury. But at day care it's a big Japanese style bath and the staff can be in the same room with Okaasan helping her with clothes etc.

How much longer can these falls be lucky?

Let's dentist!!!

Dentist. Done.
Success.

There's a promotion video on CNN at the moment for a program about Alzheimer's - with someone saying "They look like your parents, but you are looking after them like your child..." and that's what yesterday felt like - taking a little girl to the dentist.


But MOST luckily I didn't have to do it alone as the weather was terrible and Yujiro had no work. So we made a family outing of it: Let's Dentist!! (this is an in-Japan joke, with the Japanese habit of putting nouns with "Let's" to create oddities such as "Let's tennis!").


Anyway. In the morning I suggested to Okaasan that she have a bath before going out, she wasn't too enthusiastic and actually surprised when I mentioned that she usually has a bath once a week before hula...so her last bath WAS a week ago.
Really? A week ago? Me?
So odd this. In her mind she's had a bath sometime recently. It must be odd that people tell you that what you are thinking is not so at all. I know I had a shower yesterday...but if someone told me I hadn't...what would I think?


I did family lunch and then we got ready to go out in the spring storm. Drove downtown. I dropped Okaasan and Yujiro off at the dentists and went to park the car.

Also I went to pick up yet another flower-pattern shawl thing that Okaasan bought a few days ago and asked the shop to keep for her - when she dies I am going to inherit lots and lots of these red/pink flower shawls. She sees one - she buys it.
And yet again it was a PING! moment: Okaasan's memory surprisingly in complete working order. "Where is the shop where you bought this shawl? "
"Oh, it's just when you go thru the doors of the underground shopping street, second on the left...."
And it was. Second on the left. She remembered completely ok. Such a small point really, but still noticeable to us.


Yujiro and I sat in the dentist's waiting room while our child Okaasan was in the dentists' chair. Then the dentist came out to say: a small part of the fallen tooth root was still there, but maybe can't be got out and the teeth each side of it are so weak that he doubts a bridge would work, maybe cementing a fake tooth to them would be possible.
All of that might happen next week....if we can get Okaasan to come again.
The dentist and Yujiro talked about it, then the dentist went back to talk to Okaasan about it. Lots of chat followed. 
Finally she emerged all smiley and bowing to the dental nurses etc - no basic problems which is good. If she  doesn't want a fake tooth fitted that's fine - I reckon at the age of 80 you can decide against nasty dental treatment if you don't want it.


So we emerged into the spring typhoon and took Okaasan to a Tully's for coffee and chat. Then home.


So. All went well. Not sure whether she'll want to go again next week...but for now it is enough.


Next? Time to tackle the toilet accidents. Let's Diapers!


***  and just to end on an "Awwww" moment.....we have finally finished remodelling my English classroom signboard. Yujiro de-rusted and repainted it. Ordered up special magnet sheets and traced them, and cut them...and.....finished!!!

Chichi thinks the green matches his eyes.

Countdown to moving. (J)

Today I found the front door steps.....and we also found a HUGE shed!

Sunday morning.
Yujiro's just gone next door to supervise Okaasan's bath. Soon this will be so much easier to do. The bath in the new house is nice and low and easy for her to understand. She won't need supervising.

We are on countdown now until moving.

Today: more boxes to fill and lists to make. Things to buy: gate to stop the cat getting downstairs, electric cooker, curtains. Things to arrange: utilities, why does the hot water system leak, cat's stay at vets.


March 20: Furniture from Tomoko and friends are coming to help clean at the house.
March 23: Cat to the vets to stay for 3 nights. Move goldfish...carefully.
March 25: Big furniture moving....and Okaasan. Sleep at the house?
Before March 31: Old houses cleaning.

We talk to Okaasan about the new house. We haven't managed to show her inside it yet. Maybe it's better to do that once it is looking better inside with furniture...

Spring is trying to come here...but then it is cold and snowy again. Tv in Japan is beginning to show plum blossom and sunshine down south, I think Okaasan is a little frustrated that winter seems to be going on and on here. She gets out walking when the weather is good.

On moving day I wish someone would take Okaasan out for the day. Yujiro doesn't think it is necessary. But I think it would be so much better for her to be AWAY while we are stressing with moving furntiture and trucks and stuff...I think she will find it stressful. She'll make US more stressed.

I wonder if I can push the boundaries of frienship with some Japanese friend and find someone who will take Okaasan out shopping/lunch/onsen...whatever....

Meanwhile I realized that I have been pushing away friends too much. One very good friend kept sending me e mails about going out for my birthday. I couldn't think WHEN to go. And I felt guilty about going out too much when Yujiro is basically stuck at home cooking for Okaasan. So I kept putting off my friend and saying..."next month maybe".

Last night the friend came and left a birthday present at the door: it was two tickets for an onsen! She bought them and wanted to go with me. But the deadline is the end of March. So now she's given them to me and said:"maybe you can go with Yujiro..."
NO!!! I feel so bad. SHE planned it all and got the tickets and I kept pushing her away...

I will call her today and arrange a girls' night out for onsen. Moving house and Okaasan should not take away MY life and MY friends.

PS. It's back! Yuri-ne....Lilly Bulbs. I found a bag of them the other day in Okaasan's kitchen. This time I'm gonna do nothing. 10 days from now she'll have access to a working kitchen. She can amaze us with how she cooks them.

２００９年３月１５日（日）

引越しへのカウントダウン

（写真説明）きょう、玄関のステップが見つかったの。それからワタシたち、大きな物置も見つけたのよ！

日曜日の朝

ユウはちょうどお義母さんのお風呂の監督に隣に行ったの。もうじきこれはかなり楽になるはずよ。新しい家のお風呂は素敵で低い位置にあるし、お義母さんにはわかりやすいの。お義母さんは監督がいらなくなるわ。

今、ワタシたちは引越しまでの秒読みに入ったわ。

きょう；　さらに多くの箱詰めとリスト作り　　

買うもの；　ネコが１階に行かないようにする柵、電磁調理器、カーテン　　

手配すること；　電気・水道など　温水設備から水漏れしているのはどうしてかしら　ネコを獣医に預けること

３月２０日；　　　トモコさんのところから家具を運ぶ。それから友人たちが来て家の掃除を手伝ってくれる。

３月２３日；　　　ネコを3晩獣医に預ける。金魚の移動・・・慎重に。

３月２５日；　　　大型家具の引越し・・・それからお義母さんも。家で寝られるかしら？

３月３１日まで；　古い家の掃除

ワタシたちはお義母さんに新しい家のことを話すわ。お義母さんにはまだ家の中を見せていないのよ。たぶん家具が入って見かけが良くなったら中を見せたほうがいいわね。

春がここに来ようとしているわ・・・でも、また寒いし雪が降っているのよ。日本のテレビでは、梅の開花と南方の陽気を伝え始めているわ。お義母さんはここでは冬がいつまでも続いているようだってことに少しがっかりしていると思うの。お義母さんはお天気のいいときには歩いて出かけるのよ。

引越しの日、誰かがお義母さんをその日一日連れ出してくれたらなぁ。ユウはそれは必要ないって考えているの。でも、ワタシは、ワタシたちが家具やトラックや家財道具の移動で緊張しているとき、お義母さんがいないほうがずっといいって思っているの。お義母さんがそれを見るのはかなりのストレスだと思うのよ。それがワタシたちを余計に緊張させるわ。

ワタシ、日本の友人との友情をもっと広げられるかしら？お義母さんを買い物とか昼食とか温泉かどこかに連れて行ってくれる誰かを見つけられるかしら？

一方では、ワタシは自分が友人たちをかなり遠ざけていることを実感したの。一人のとってもいい友人がワタシの誕生日のために出かけることについてＥメールを送ってくれていたの。ワタシ、いつ行けるか、考えられなかったわ。ユウが家に縛り付けられてお義母さんのために料理をしているときに、外出が多すぎることについて罪の意識を感じていたの。それで、先延ばしにして言っていたの・・・“たぶん来月には”

昨夜その友人が来て、ドアに誕生日プレゼントを置いていったの。温泉のチケット２枚だったわ。彼女はそれを買って私と行きたかったのよ。でも３月末が期限なの。それで、彼女はそれをワタシにくれて“ユウとなら行けるんじゃない”って言ったの。

なんてこと！　ワタシとっても悪い気がしたわ。彼女が計画し、チケットを手にいれ、そして、ワタシが彼女を追いやった・・・

ワタシはきょう彼女に電話して、温泉での女たちの夜の打ち合わせをするつもりよ。家の引越しやお義母さんのことはワタシの人生とワタシの友人たちを取り上げるべきではないのよ。

追伸　　帰ってきたのよ！ユリ根・・・百合の球根が。お義母さんの台所でユリ根の入れ物を見つけたの。今回ワタシは何もしないわよ。１０日後お義母さんは台所で仕事ができるようになるの。お義母さんはそれをどうやって料理するかで、ワタシたちをびっくりさせることができるのよ。

　

I'm still standing...but not eating.

Okaasan is making progress, getting to her feet from the carpet better. Standing and moving around the apartment. We're not sure if she can get into the bath yet because the bathside is about hip height.

She is generally brighter and more her old self.

I suggested to Yujiro that we take dinner IN to her apartment yesterday. I thought maybe some family time with conversation and food would be a lift for her, as opposed to our constant short little checking visits.

So at 6 pm we put all the nabe/table-top stew materials in a pot and bag and took them to her place. She found the table under the mountain of papers and we set up dinner in front of the TV.

"Ahh, but I don't really want to eat...I had a food delivery at lunchtime...I'm not so hungry!"

Oh well...it can't be helped! Our mistake really, he hadn't clearly checked with her that she wanted to actually eat dinner. So, we sat and ate. She sat next to us and chatted a bit and we all companionably stared at the Tv for a while.

Then we took all the dirty bowls, chopsticks, pots and food pacakging back to OUR apartment.
She didn't eat. But maybe it was a good thing to do, a little energising event. She's been inside her apartment now for 4 days.

Luckily now there is snow falling in Sapporo...finally. So the ice sheets are getting covered up and hopefully she'll be able to go out later this week. Her knee still looks swollen to me. But she and he don't seem to think that's a problem. And we know Okaasan's feelings about doctors!

So today. My day off.

This morning the accountant is coming to look at my books and tell me if I actually made a small profit on my English school this year.
And then we are off to see THREE houses that Yujiro found.
We have to give an answer on "our" house today. I kind of just want to decide THAT house and stop the search. There will always be "better" places, but I'd like to move to the next stage of planning and enjoying the place we already found.

Sitting in the bath last night, with my knees on the same level as my ears, I thought about the BIG, new bath in "our" house...ahhhh....nice! And it would be SO nice for Okaasan.

I like our home here - I like the little pocket garden with its cherry tree and gardening neighbors, I like the view of the Japanese-style house across the street, I like the location...but...but..I will find more things to like in another house I am sure.

Bathtime

So. The first day of my winter holiday. Yippeee!

I'm happy because I can really concentrate on doing a good oyome-san job, and relax at home with errands, the TV and word games on the computer.

First thing was collect okaasan's trash to put out. Then get her primed for taking a bath. Then I sat in her living room watching TV while she had a bath. I wasn't sure how much help she needed - he'd mentioned washing her hair for her - but apart from asking me to switch on more hot water and find a towel..she did it alone.
While she was in the bath I went through the stuff on her table and threw out a lot of the shopping flyers from the newspaper and other bits of paper she doesn't need. I took into my home a pile of wet hand towels that were in the kitchen sink (what DID she do with those?) and I rolled up and put away some of the socks she has strewn around...I changed the toilet roll.

It's easy to see how bad people can con their way into old people's lives and homes...and trust. Offer to help around the home, and while they are away in another room you could do anything with their money or jewels. Unluckily for me I only found supermarket flyers and rice cracker crumbs.

It's hard to me know how much is acceptable or necessary to invade her private space. Until the past fortnight we'd only met at a few dinners etc and had polite chats. Now I am marching into her bathroom while she is in the bath. How relationships change!

After bathtime I came back into my home and had my own breakfast and took a shower. Fed the cat. Then started preparing okaasan's breakfast...fish/rice/soup/omelette. All much better than last night's dinner. Things were feeling under control.

There was a voice at the door.

HE was standing there....looking very very apologetic. On crutches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

During the first day of ski instructor work yesterday, he'd fallen awkwardly with a child student who was playing around...and felt something go...hopefully only a ligament or a bruised bone. Back to the hospital where he spent 3 months earlier this year. Same doctor etc. And then back home today....leaving the other ski instructors one short.

I tell you. This year. Our lives. Amazing. I think I'm beyond surprise now.!!!!

So I finished cooking okaasan's meal, took it in to her. Came back and washed up. Chatted to him. One hour later cooked lunch for us.

Welcome to my winter holidays! Yo ho ho.

Second day. (J)

I couldn't get to the computer yesterday. He was on it for ages looking for house cleaning companies for the Saitama house.

Anyway. I went to work and came home at 2 pm. He and okaasan had spent the morning shopping and arranging stuff in her apartment. Best news was that she is able to use the bath! That had been one of our main concerns: how she would get in and out of the bath. But she has great flexibility in her hips and the bath was no problem.

I had a quick lunch in my home, and then took my cup of soup and sat with her in her home watching TV for a bit. Later we cooked salmon nabe and she came to us for dinner...fairly successful, although she thought it was strange I'd left the potato skins on the potatoes.

She stayed with us for an hour or so, and then went back to her apartment because she wanted to drink green tea and we don't have any. He then disappeared on the computer and I collapsed on the sofa and watched TV.

So, a fairly ok...no stressy day. She really likes the apartment and seems happy there. Her short term memory is terrible. She really does tell the same story with the same words 5 or 6 times in about 5 minutes. We must get her to a doctor sometime soon. There is maybe a medical reason for this, not just age.

Today we are going shopping for winter clothes.

２００８年１２月６日（土）その２

二日目

きのうワタシはコンピューターを使えなかったの。彼が長時間使って埼玉の家の清掃会社を探していたの。

さて、ワタシは仕事に行って２時に帰ってきたんだけど、彼とお義母さんは買い物をして、お義母さんのアパートを整えて過ごしていたわ。一番のニュース！は、お義母さんがお風呂を使えるってことだったわね。お義母さんがどうやってお風呂に出たり入ったりするかってことは、ワタシたちの主な心配事のひとつだったの。でも、お義母さんの腰は柔軟性があったの。それでお風呂は問題なしだったわ。

ワタシは自分の家で急いで昼食を済ませ、お義母さんの家にスープのカップを持っていってお義母さんと一緒に座り少しの時間テレビを視たの。そのあと、ワタシたちは鮭鍋を作り、お義母さんがワタシたちのところに夕食に来たの。上出来だったわ、ワタシがじゃがいもの皮をむかなかったことをお義母さんがおかしいと思ったとしても。

お義母さんは一時間かそこらワタシたちと一緒にいて、それから緑茶が飲みたかったので自分のアパートに帰っていったの。ワタシたちのところにはないのよ。彼はコンピューターの世界に姿を消し、ワタシはソファにのんびりと寝そべってテレビを見たわ。

そうね、かなりいい、ストレスのない日だったわ。お義母さんはほんとにアパートが気に入っていて、ここでは幸せそうだわ。お義母さんの短期記憶障害はひどいの。お義母さんったら、５分ぐらいの間におんなじ言葉でおんなじ話を５回も６回もするの。近いうちにお医者さんのところに連れて行かなければね。たぶん病気のせいよ、年のせいだけではなくて。

今日は冬物の衣料を買いにいくつもりよ。